Appealing

Most people are obsessed with finding a boyfriend. It was evidenced by a conversation that I had with someone today. As usual, most gay men think that a boyfriend is a magic cure for all of life's problems. However, we know from countless movies about lovelorn straight women that sometimes we're just better off with a vibrating dildo. In that conversation, I told him that he just isn't fit for a relationship right now, because he lacks the stability to support an environment like that. Regardless, he'll go out and find anyone with a shadow and proclaim them his boyfriend. Then, he'll discard them once there's some fickle problem and move on.

This is where monogamy goes wrong. When we epouse the health benefits of monogamy in our speeches about HIV prevention, monogamy isn't as protective as it appears to be. I've always qualified it as being effective if you happen to stay in a relationship in the long term. Guys, who purport to be monogamous, but switch boyfriends like fake jewelry, can't declare themselves 100% safe from STD's. If anything, it's been shown that diligence on the part of the individual (hence, self-efficacy), regardless of relationship status, is the real reason for protection against anything harmful.

Of course, this is how our society operates. We have this Noah's Ark mentality...everyone needs to be paired off. Now, we're all happy when we're with someone..that's a truth that I can accept. Unfortunately, most guys take it to the extreme and attempt to stomp out all of life's problems by coupling with someone. In most cases, it's pretty sad to see such high co-dependence, because you know it's ultimately something related to their own inadequacies. Fortunately, there's hope! This is why civilization has created friends. Of course, if we could only get friends that operate like those in TV shows, such as Friends (gee, wasn't that appropriately named?) or Sex in the City.