Fending off the vultures

I'm perhaps feeling like I'm in the lowest point of my winter morale. Things haven't been going the way I would like...not to mention some of the rotten stuff that's happened for the past few days. Incredibly, I'm feeling somewhat sane, but I can imagine myself being more depressed as we go on. This is perhaps the lowest our office morale has been in the past few months. I'm been the optimistic one and have been thinking that things have actually improved. However, it seemed like this week was one of those periodic instances where things just come crashing down.

An apparent realization during my malaise frame of mind is the fact that being young and Asian makes you irrestible to the worst bunch of people. No, this is not a new epiphany...it was stirred into my mind when I noticed how grotesquely obscene so many online profiles are. There's the innate association between being young and being Asian. I feel sorry for the ones who hit age 30 and they suddenly don't exist anymore. Well, that's not exactly true, since we all know we're apparently in mid-life when we head into three decades...which leads some men to think of us as pubescent enough for a rice queen to be turned off. However, it's most amusing to find that we all still look like we're in our 20's, despite being twice that age in actuality. Yes, it's that poetic justice we serve on a cold plate to all the wrinkly men out there.

In our continuing evolution, I then wonder where we exist in that perception of our 30-something year old invisibility factor and how sticky rice queens cope with getting older. In that rice-potato mixture, you can find yourself as a surviving gay Asian man, because your white hubbie is showing you off as the trophy of his catches. In a sticky relationship, you have two older, but not geriatric, individuals who are considered invisible to a majority of seekers out there (and it's not due to the fact they're in relationship either!). Among the famous gay Asians out there who've gone past half-life, I am wondering how many are actually sticky. It seems to be a distinct correlation with being visible and having a white boyfriend...a creature comfort of interracial dating? Of course, it would mean that I'm implying that white men only choose us in order to have us be paraded in public. Heh, that would be in poor taste, right?