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Saturday, May 10, 2008

  • Currently Listening
    Miley Cyrus Karaoke
    By Karaoke
    see related

    formulaic

    here is something a good friend of mine passed on to me. it is pleasing in any setting. in fact i used both formulas to great advantage in conversation yesterday.

    restaurant review: the n was x but lacked y. where n = a menu item, x = a non-committal yet positive adjective, and y = a hyperbolic adjective not generally used to describe food. i.e., “the fettuccini was flavorful but lacked gravitas”

    or, for the more advanced reviewer:
    what the a lacked in x, the b made up for in y. where a = a menu item, x = a characteristic often used in conjunction with fast cars, b = a menu item, and y = an adjective generally used by victorian novelists to describe a young woman. i.e., “what the soup lacked in punch, the crème brûlée made up for in delicacy.”

    music review: n. that’s what the new x album calls to mind. where n = evocative nonsense and x = a band name. i.e., “unrolling carpet padding. that’s what the new nin album calls to mind.”


    ok, give it a try:

Sunday, May 04, 2008

  • official band news w/favorite comment and other consequential nonsense

    i am happy to inform you that a limited edition of the remedy cd will be in stores tomorrow. it is double disc, one being the remedy cd with one additional track, the radio version of “never let go” which in my opinion is way cooler than the album version, and also a dvd that has 4 live songs from our remedy tour. i genuinely can’t wait for you to see them. they were recorded in atlanta at the tabernacle and new york city at the hammerstein ballroom and are a peek at what’s to come. oh! and i had them include the foreverandever etc... video as it may cause you to smile when you behold it on something other than a computer screen in all of its uncompressed glory. magnificent.

    remedylimited

    my favorite comment comes from brody and it is this: @jessylindaz - David knows better than to give me best comment. But thanks for noticing

    a few other comments i thought were particularly fantastic:

    this one submitted by emprise34, he even titled it:

    title: overly verbose response to the comments surrounding
    the previously released “official bad news” [sic]

    i must apologize, and i hope it is not too late. i made a
    few assumptions in my happy post about the remedy limited edition release. i
    know you to be informed readers that want for nothing outside of greater good
    to exist in the world, which is why you and i get along so well, so, i should
    have taken the opportunity of this release to inform you what purposes limited
    editions serve and to what end they exist and how possibly they came to be and
    why in turn you may or may not be interested in them.

    i’d first like to say, my hope was to simply inform those
    who might care for such a thing, that we were offering such a thing. this
    seemed obvious to me. however, i now feel the need to acknowledge a major
    fundamental assumption and it was this: that you, being a music lover as
    am i, make your musical purchase decisions the same way i do. that is,
    obviously, a ludicrous and self centered assumption – to assume we are the
    same. i mean granted, there have been signs at times that this was the case,
    but never-the-less, it is a flawed assumption. for this i am sorry.

    so i shall first describe my personal reaction to artists i
    enjoy releasing limited editions of projects i already own.

    ok, if say, jimmy buffet (universal crowd pleaser example)
    released a limited edition of “fruitcakes” i would not buy it. i own most of
    jimmy buffet’s cds. they are pleasant to listen to while sitting in sunshine. they
    also make you think of sunshine when it is cloudy and you are in a bad mood. i
    like his “jimmy buffet” album best. i would say i mildly like jimmy buffet.

    if say, “the frames” (band from dublin whose lead singer is
    one academy award winner glen hansard) released a limited edition of “the cost”
    (“the frames” latest album) and all they added was a sticker of a beaver on the
    front i would buy it. if they released different versions of the cover with
    different stickers, with like say a duck, a rabbit, an ox and some type of
    amphibian, not a salamander, i would totally buy each of the covers so i would
    have all of the animals. i would say i really like the frames.

    i am the same way with books. i bought all 3 versions of
    dave eggers’ “heartbreaking work of staggering genius”. all that changed was
    the cover. one edition completely eliminated a rather large portion of the
    first edition and i was pleased to do this, buy the same book again, but with
    less in it. i enjoyed it. i also bought all 3 editions of his “they shall know
    our velocity”. the second release was re-titled “sacrament” and was exactly the
    same as the first except it included an insert from one of the characters in
    the book. then it was re-released for imprint distribution and re-titled “they
    shall know our velocity!” the difference being the exclamation point in the
    title. this was thrilling to me, i kid you not. i am not well.

    but this is what i do. when i am deeply moved by an artist i
    want to participate fully in all that they are attempting to produce and
    distribute. i have been touched and i wish to touch back and this is the means
    i have been given to lessen the distance between us.

    then there is this: i have knowledge of a few advantages
    that limited edition cds afford to artists. i regret that i made the assumption
    that these advantages are obvious.

    you may have noticed that cds are no longer afforded the
    shelf life that they previously were given. this is in large part due to the
    devaluation of music, monetarily speaking, and, in small part, due to the
    growth of electronic distribution. both of these result in the hard artifact no
    longer having the ability to cover the necessary costs for retail stores to
    permit it shelf space that could instead hold a twinkie or something useful or
    in demand. new releases and a handful of mega sellers are afforded the ever
    coveted placement that says, “hey look, over here, you may find something
    special,” and stores have no reason or incentive to reorder/restock a cd that
    has been available for a good bit of time. a limited edition, however, is
    viewed by retail as a new artifact. this means that the shelf life of this item
    has been effectively extended, and, for the artist and the person who believes
    in and supports this artist and thinks other people should also hear and
    support this artist, this is, obviously, a good thing.

    now, here’s the punch line: i’m ok with being your “jimmy
    buffet”, but i really want to be your “frames”.

    we’re trying to make music that pulls at the soul in a
    special way and for those of you whom have felt this, thank you for
    communicating such by making sacrifices, crazy sacrifices at times, to do so.
    we’re blown away and inspired that anything we would do would be useful to you,
    or move you, or become something that is special to you in some fashion. this
    is both ridiculous and exactly what we’d hope.

    for those of you whom we have not had that transcendent
    connection, i’ll offer this: i doubt i would take the time to comment on jimmy
    buffet’s blog to inform him that i’ll not be buying his limited edition
    “fruitcakes” cd or lecture him on the evils of the limited edition. that would
    seem to me strange in some way. i’m pretty sure i would feel rather foul
    inside if i were to do so and thus i would want to avoid this, the feeling foul
    inside. and i’d kinda figure that jimmy would already expect that whoever would
    be interested in something like this would buy it and whoever wasn’t wouldn’t
    and to tell him that i would be one of those who wouldn’t might be, at best,
    unnecessary or, at worst, a bit cruel, maybe, depending on jimmy’s sensitivity.

    unless, of course i wished to inform jimmy that i would
    really, really like to purchase his limited edition but am currently flat dusty
    broke and see no possible means of dollar bill acquisitions on the immediate
    horizon, and please, dearest jimmy, let this be no reflection whatsoever on the
    abundance of love and happy thoughts i hold regarding you. i’m sure jimmy would
    smile endlessly after reading such a thing and wish that he could simply drop a
    limited edition fruitcakes cd in the mail to me for being so thoughtful as to
    make his day by saying such a thing in the comments section of his blog. yeah,
    i’m pretty sure he’d love me forever.
    love,
    jimmy or glen

    and this one, also submitted by emprise34:

    i deleted two of murlough23's comments as i felt they did not paint him in the best light. he did reiterate his point that he doesn't think it is proper to make people pay for the same songs again, but in doing so he made a few comments that were unnecessary and not very productive, i think. but to be fair, i'll state again on his behalf. he really doesn't like it when bands, or disney, release limited or special editions of things previously released. he, murlough23, really wants you to know that and then he will feel better. he views himself as sort of a consumer watch dog. he really, really doesn't want me to dupe you into buying the same thing twice; so, if you don't understand that the entire remedy cd is in this limited edition release of remedy, well then, please know that the only thing you are getting for your money is a different version of "never let go" (which murlough23 thinks is a crappy song anyway) and 4 live songs filmed in hd from the remedy club tour (which murlough23 apparently doesn't like live versions of songs 99% of the time, unless he is there, and would just prefer to listen to the studio version) and of course the foreverandever etc... video.
    love,
    david

    and there was this one, also by emprise34:

    dearest @murlough23 -

    just because i make something does not give you the right to
    it nor does it obligate me to allow you access to it. there are things i create
    that i do not wish to share with the public at large. the act of creating and
    the offering of the result of this act is a fragile transaction and i would
    prefer to be selective with what i allow you to participate in as the general
    public can be quite venomous and speak quickly without complete information or knowledge or tact or an awareness or concern toward the potential harm they might inflict, as
    evidenced by your comment here.

    to validate my opinion on this i’ll use as
    example your humbly offered suggestion that we should have included the
    “better” version of the song on the cd in the first place. this is truly a
    fantastic suggestion. near genius, i dare say. why in the world don’t more
    bands do that, you know, include the best version of songs on their cd? dang.
    that’s such a better idea than including the lesser versions. thank you. we’ll
    keep that in mind for future recordings because that is absolute gold. however, in
    this case we did not have this particular version of the song until we were
    mid-way through our remedy tour and had the great fortune of playing the
    song night after night in a live setting. but yeah, freaking heck, we should
    from now on include the best versions of songs on our recordings, or, as you
    said, just not call the recording finished until we do so.

    except we wouldn't have been on tour had we not called the recording finished and therefore would never have created this skull crushing version of the song that we should have included the first time, but i think what you're suggesting is seriously brilliant. please, include more of your thoughts in the comment section of my blog so that
    we all my live better fuller lives.

    and finally, dearest murlough23, if you'll include a mailing address, i'll be happy to send you the new limited edition (the one you should have just waited to buy) free of charge so you won't hold such bitterness regarding your contribution to our cause.

    your humble servant,
    david.

    and then there was this one, also by emprise34:

    dearest @murlough23 -
    you frustrate me by making too many jaded assumptions. you have too many issues for me to engage in a healthy exchange. to deny my offer to send you this cd is simply pompous and a direct refute of your claim that i'm not your jimmy buffet. call me shallow, but if jimmy buffet offered to send me a puffy tick i'd be thrilled. i would go to the mailbox waiting for the tick to arrive and when it got here i would say, "hey, jimmy buffet sent me a tick that probably started out puffy but is now sort of dried out and dead." i'm wondering if you enjoy the anonymity the internet offers and therefore refuse to include an address as it makes no sense whatsoever to me that you would refuse the offer of my hand. and, i don't even have a clue where to put "i don't like live recordings." you're just not right inside and we do not appreciate music in the same way.
    love,
    less than jimmy

    and, yes, this is ridiculous, but seriously, this also notable, and from emprise34; what searing, insightful words he pens:

    @jenny - yes. send me a message with your address and i'll send you murlough23's cd.
    love,
    glen

Friday, April 25, 2008

  • oops, a correction...

    so, yeah, i posted a link to the gma blogs that only included that first blog. so, i will correct that here. also, they have enabled comments. i think they wished to approve them before displaying them because of fear that some of you may be loose of tongue? so, if your comment doesn't show up, don't fret, it will soon enough, as long as your language is not odious or vile.

    ok, so here is the link that finishes up my whirlwind GMA coverage: GMA BLOG

    also, if you're in a hurry and don't have the time for a bit of reading and aren't one who watches the Gospel Music Channel ceaselessly, as i'm certain they will replay it again and again due to the fantastic feelings it invokes in one's person while beholding, i've included our performance from the doves below. i hope it makes you smile.






Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Saturday, April 19, 2008

  • Currently Listening
    Texas
    By PlayRadioPlay!
    see related

    rocky raccoon

    we were in north carolina this past weekend and it was amazing!

    we (jack, toni and i) played golf.

    historic pinehurst no. 2!

    like i said, it was amazing. a guy named “bob” was our host and i must say that “bob” (unsure why “bob” is in quotation marks) was the perfect host.

    i’ve never felt as comfortable making a fool of myself in front of someone i didn’t know as i did with “bob”.

    you see, bob is a good golfer.

    he teaches golf.

    as in, he’s a professor at a college and golf is the knowledge he imparts.

    to play golf with a guy like “bob” – an accomplished authority on the game – should be an awkward enterprise for someone like me – unaccomplished, unauthoritative, unprofessorial, ungood at golf – but it was not.

    “bob” made us, me in particular, feel quite happy while disrespecting historic pinehurst no. 2 with such foul play.

    but this is all irrelevant information.

    here’s why i mention “bob”, and golf, and my unproductive attempts at swinging a stick at small inanimate objects: the scariest freaking squirrels ever are in north carolina. [!] i saw them. they are the size of dogs! seriously! well, not seriously. i mean, “dog-sized” would be a tad overstated. but seriously huge. like raccoon sized. in fact, they looked eerily similar to raccoons. i saw them. while playing golf with “bob”. they had little bandit masks on. just like raccoons. big, big raccoons.

    oh, one of the funniest stories i’ve heard involved raccoons.

    this is it, the story i find funny about raccoons:

    bwack, our drummer, was once my neighbor.

    he lived next door.

    well, not “next” door, as at the time we, my wife and i, lived in a tiny duplex, and, in technical terms, our “next door” neighbors would have been glen, a poet from arizona, the phoenix area i believe, and glen’s mother.

    bwack, our drummer, lived in an apartment that was next to the duplex, so i guess he was like our next door neighbor’s next door neighbor.

    i knew him, bwack, our drummer, as the guy constantly grilling enormous quantities of meat outside his apartment door.

    the atkin’s diet was popular at the time.

    he would pop out, poke at the meat, then disappear inside.

    his windows were covered with tin foil.

    we eventually befriended this reclusive meat cooking neighbor and that is how i came to know the story of the apartment raccoons.

    bwack, our drummer, was sitting on the toilet.

    he does this from time to time, the sitting on the toilet.

    so, he is sitting on the toilet when he hears the sound of scratching, emanating from the ceiling of his bathroom.

    the scratching sound seems to be coming from a point in the ceiling located directly between where he sits, hard at work, and the bathroom door, which is a good 6 to 7 paces away.

    bwack, our drummer, surmises that the scratching can only have as its source some type of large claw that in turn must be attached to some type of medium to larged sized animal, probably.

    and this is concerning.

    for obvious reasons.

    he is beginning to arrive at the conclusion that it may be in his best interest to begin preparations toward a speedy type exit becoming less than the untidy proposition it is currently.

    dust begins lightly falling from the source of the scratching noise.

    it’s kind of pretty, the dust falling.

    sort of slow-mo in its descent.

    but yes, dust is falling.

    whatever feral beast is tearing at bwack, our drummer’s, ceiling could very well be falling through the ceiling at any moment, landing on the floor blocking bwack, our drummer’s, only egress and it will most likely be pretty pissed, you know, after falling a good 8 feet to a tile floor.

    abruptly, a clawed hand pokes through the, now, hole in the ceiling.

    bwack, our drummer, sits watching.

    the clawed hand seems confused, you know, by the lack of substance, by the vacancy it has found while frantically searching for something to support the weight of whatever angry beast is attached to the clawed hand, and the frantically searching paw is having absolutely no luck finding such a place to place its weight.

    bwack, our drummer, still watching.

    bwack, our drummer has made no progress whatsoever toward graceful departure.

    a hairy gray arm, the one attached to the claw, becomes fully extended through the hole and bwack, our drummer is becoming less amused and faintly panicked, as well you can imagine.

    [now, seriously, what is one to do when faced with the possibility of a rabid coon (of course it’s rabid, what normal, peace loving coon rips at your ceiling while you’re serenely occupied with nature’s bidding!) coming through your ceiling and dropping to your floor in front of you with you in this most vulnerable of states?]

    thankfully, the coon, after much swiping of air, becomes bored or frustrated by lack of progress and withdraws the clawed-paw-gray-haired-arm but then has the gall to stare with one bandit-coon-eye through the hole at bwack, our drummer, before scampering off to enact more menacing coon-like activity in other parts unknown of bwack, our drummer’s, apartment.

    this staring is most offensive and completely inappropriate.

    bwack, our drummer, calls his landlord.

    he says, “landlord. there are coons in the ceiling. i am leaving to go out of town. i’d rather not have coons in my ceiling when i return.”

    the landlord responds, “no problem. i’ll take care of it.”

    bwack leaves and is abroad for a number of weeks.

    bwack returns to an apartment wreaking of coon death and buzzing with clouds of very large flies moving lethargically through the air, as in they are really slow, as in so slow you can thump them with your finger.

    he spends the better part of an afternoon swatting the air with a towel, resulting in a fly killing spree of epic proportions.

    with each fling of the towel, hundreds of lethargic fly lives are extinguished.

    the moral of the apartment raccoon story is this: if you are a landlord, and your tenant calls with knowledge of rodent infestation, do not throw poison in the attic and board up all possible exits to leave the rodents to die and rot in the texas-summer-attic-heat.

    also, golfers named “bob” are generally pretty cool.

    also, bwack, our drummer, doesn’t live in this apartment any more.


    raccoon



online now emprise34

  • Visit emprise34's Xanga Site
    • Name: david
    • Country: United States
    • State: Texas
    • Gender: Male
    • Member Since: 9/6/2004
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