the gift of life

Our daughter was born Saturday, June 2.  Already, Maggie has turned our world upside down.  God decided it was a good idea to let human beings (as screwed up as we all are) to raise, nuture, feed, and love other human beings who are so fragile and so dependent and so needy.  Jesus was a baby too.  Fragile.  Needy.  Dependent.

Mary had to get up with him every 3 hours at night to feed him.  She had to keep him clean (babies poop a lot).  He needed a bath every few days.  She had to make sure his belly button healed without infection.  She had to take care of herself so that her body could continue to provide for him.  He had to be warm and feel secure.  He needed a place to sleep and regular nap times - and face to face and skin to skin contact so he could learn how to interact with other humans and to trust them - and to learn what real love feels like in human form.

And He was God - all at the same time.

Welcome to the world, Maggie.  If you don't need couseling by the time we're done with you - it will be a miracle of God.  I pray we can give you the wings you need to fly on your own - and provide you the opportunities to form a real relationship with a very REAL God - so you can be a light to your part of the world.  May you be more aware of others than yourself.  May you become a Jesus follower - and real, honest, human being who happens to have a real relationship with the creator of the World.  Your mom hates fakers.

almost

why is it that waiting takes so long?  4 weeks - until this little alien inside of me makes its first appearance.  i only say alien because it's the strangest experience to have a human being literally, living inside of you - and moving and kicking and getting the hiccups...  i do feel fortunate to be a female to have this 9 months experience with my gift...that no one else gets to have.  marriage, friendship, life - should be that sacared.

i wonder what it would be like if we took our souls as seriously as we talk.  i wonder if God continued to suck people into the earth for unconfessed sin - or if you showed up at Sunday morning service without having "washed in the Word" and you died upon entering the presence of God and people had to drag you out by a rope tied to your ankle......if we'd be so wishy-washy...continue to not read, continue to mount campaigns for "good" and neglect the essential.

Jesus is no poster boy - and waves flags for no one.  He's not a political party.  He doesn't bless one nation on earth.  In fact, He may care less about a lot of things we deemed necessary to be "good" and be broken-hearted that His mission has been lost to a bunch of fools. 

I think we all chase after the very things we say we hate - because ultimately, the affair of the flesh is too difficult to leave behind.  And a list of "good activities" is easier to follow and rate yourself against others to make you feel better about your weakness.  "At least I'm better than him."

Somehow - God decided when He tore down the temple that the best place for His spirit to live was inside of us.  Each and every believer....the cloud and fire of God resides inside.  How does that rock your world?

Currently Listening Oh! Gravity. By Switchfoot see related

wanting more

why do people always talk about wanting more and having more (not material things) - being more - but when opportunities present themselves for these people to take steps in that direction - they just sit back and keep complaining about not having more, being more, and still wanting something more?

FOR THE LOVE OF GOD - DO SOMETHING!

I want to be and hang out with those people who see a need (in the world or in themselves) and actually do something to fill it.  I want to be one of those people who gets things done.  I want to be one of those people who knows no boundaries, who's God is big and capable of anything, who's not afraid to try even if there's a detour involoved.

I don't know a lot of things - but there are a couple things I'm pretty sure about - and those are the things that motivate. 

I wish people didn't spend so much time focusing on what they don't have - and start working what they do have.  We'd all be better for it.  It's not about what you don't know - it's about what you can do with those things you do know and keep learning along the way.

right?

no

can't it just be enough that I don't want to do something?  some people are okay with saying no - I, on the other hand, am not okay with saying no.  I have to have at least 1 reason why my answer is no - and then a back-up reason that further explains reason #1 so the other person doesn't hate me.  and don't tell me that's stupid.  there are those people in the world who use other people - and they manipulate them by making them feel like they hate them just so they'll say yes.  I've run into too many of those people (and you know if you are one) and they have totally freaked me out.

i just want to say no.  and to 100 people my reason sounds dumb - but to me it's HUGE. 

isn't that enough?

Currently Listening Bleach By Bleach see related

expectation

news - we're pregnant! 

it's quite amazing what God drags you through by not giving you what you want....so He can reclaim some stuff and give you exactly what you need.

it has been a long road - and now - prayerfully - I hope the new life is finding a good home to grow for the next several months.