My old friend is back. You know, the one that's trying to teach me when to say no.
Saturday I had a call from a former client who happens to cut my hair. Sounded positively desperate with whip lash, wanting nursely advice. I called the number she left. No answer. I should call and follow up, see how she's doing, but there's not been enough time.
Today, I came home to a note urgently beseeching me to call a friend. I called. The friend had muscular issues she wanted me to work with. Problem: she lives one and one half hour away. I'm working full days for HH. She doesn't work outside the home. She has other commitments that she things will take precedence over my offer to care for her after I get out of work tomorrow night. That didn't seem to be the answer she wanted. So, we spent another hoaf hour on the phone while I guided her through her anatomy to give self care. Talked about anti-inflammatories. yada, yada, yada. We've been through most of this rap before.
While I was on the phone with her, someone else called. This someone is one week post hysterectomy, is a very good friend and only calls me when she's dire. Mostly, her son was scared by her symptoms so he insisted she call me. I took my bag, did a little prestidigitation and she's feeling much better now.
While I did the phone calls, I unloaded the grocery bags, put the groceries away, took care of the dog's needs. Not very good, self care, no indeedy.
So to whom do I say know? Where I to triage the two phone calls, the latter one described was more warranting attention because the symptoms were suggestive of internal bleeding. The former call, was a bit of chronicity on the part of the caller. I'm not feeling irritated now- I was earlier, though. That bit of thought that my schedule was irritating her took a little getting used to. I'm feeling much better now, thank you.
Interesting freudian typo at the start of that last paragraph. Think I'll keep it.
To whom do I say no? To what do I say no? For throughout those scenarios named above, I said no to my needs, to my timing. I finally figured out that the reason I've felt so punk of late is due to meds I've been taking for an infection that's been dragging on. Smart nursie that I am, I finally put two and two together and with a hearty Homer Simpson D'oh! realized I wanted to have peace and quiet at home because THIS IS WHERE I HEAL.
I always like it when I figure out what I need. There was a time I couldn't puzzle it out. This is progress.
As for the wedding this weekend: I've not made up my mind one way or t'other about going. Yes, it would be rude not to show up after having RSVP'd in the affirmative. After all, how can we pass up the chicken cordon bleu and the shellfish stuffed haddock? Pretty easily, I'm thinking. I'll see how I feel Thursday and play it from there. Maybe we'll go down for the day. Maybe not. I'm going to wait and see how I feel. No harm in that.
I'm taking my silly self off to bed. I finished the last of the HH paperwork and have decided that I'll not be bringing paperwork home during the week. It's one thing to bring it here on weekend call. It's quite another to not have the time to finish it at the office. It can stay there for the overtime or I can do it the next day.
Oh, wait, one other thing:
I was reading a post- protected- and the person was expressing the desire to be as good a mother as.......and she had no one to list. I so wanted to write, be as good a mother as me! I'm a good mom! I've put the work into it to get to where I am today. Just as you are doing now!
And should this person read this, know that I say it not because I am the be all and end all of all good mothers, but because when it comes to people to emulate, I'm a pretty good role model. Sure, there are plenty of places I could improve. But, I didn't beat my kids, I didn't subject them to the same kind of emotional chaos rife in the home in which I grew up. They love me, they talk to me, and it would be an honor to know my mothering inspired someone who's already on the track to being an all around good mom. It's a brief outburst of pride, and unusual for me. I say though, to let you know that it's possible to be the mom you want to be even if the example you had growing up is not the most stellar.
You go, Girl!
Blessings abound | 
