Tuesday, April 15, 2008
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Quotables - Philosophy - Dr. Montgomery
1. Dr. Montgomery: “A guy walks into a Greek tailor’s shop and says, “Euripides (You rippa deez),” to which he replied Eumenides (You menna deez).”
2. Dr. Montgomery: “The scientist studies more and more of less and less and everything about nothing. A philosopher studies less and less of more and more and knows nothing about everything.”
3. Dr. Montgomery: “Papers are to be like a woman’s skirt: long enough to cover the subject, but short enough to be interesting.”
4. Dr. Montgomery: “I have Mafia contacts in Sicily. Many students have become foundations to modern buildings and thus become foundational part of modern culture.”
5. Dr. Montgomery: “There is evil. There is nasty-nasty.”
6. Dr. Montgomery: “That’s the way the universal cookie crumbles.”
7. Dr. Montgomery: “George W. Bush! He’s the worst president we’ve had since Clinton!”
8. Dr. Montgomery: “Two students plus two students equals four students, and probably a lot of trouble.”
9. Dr. Montgomery: “God create man in His own image, and ever since we’ve been returning the favor.”
10. Dr. Montgomery: “Though all presuppositions are equal, some presuppositions are more equal than others.”
11. Dr. Montgomery: “The only difference between blacks and whites is that blacks are better at music.”
12. Dr. Montgomery: “Mormon bosoms burn at a higher degree centigrade than non-Mormon bosoms.”
13. Dr. Montgomery: “Did you hear about the sad case of the man christened Jeffrey Jeffrey Jeffrey. The rector stuttered when he christened him.”
14. Dr. Montgomery: “Don’t anybody try to keep my magazines.”
15. Dr. Montgomery: “You can look at a rock forever, and it will never tell you about itself. It just sits there and looks up to you.”
16. Dr. Montgomery: “What is the difference between you and a cumquat… Don’t say that to a non-Christian.”
17. Dr. Montgomery: “Aren’t you the audit… then shut up.”
18. Dr. Montgomery: “You couldn’t get me to vote Democrat if my life depended on it.”
19. Dr. Montgomery: “I will be dealing with philosophy of Art and philosophy of religion, two very sexy topics.”
20. Dr. Montgomery: “Some of you are suffering constipation of the brain and tongue.”
21. Dr. Montgomery: “Stew consists of gruel and gunk... get the gunk swimming in the gruel.”
22. Dr. Montgomery: “That is nincompoopishness.”
23. Dr. Montgomery: “Why are you all here so early? You have a full minute before class starts.”
24. Dr. Montgomery: “Surely if God can use TV evangelists, then he can certainly use reason.”
25. Dr. Montgomery: “What’s the difference between a psychiatrist and a coal miner? The answer is the psychiatrist goes down deeper, stays down longer, and comes up dirtier.”
26. Dr. Montgomery: “If we had a choice between Confucius and the Pharisees to invite to a dinner party, we would choose Confucius in a heartbeat.”
27. Dr. Montgomery: “As with everything else, including my jokes, this may show up on a quiz.”
28. Dr. Montgomery: “I don’t want to occupy all of your time… eighty percent sure, but not ALL of it.”
29. Dr. Montgomery: “There is, of course, a New Martin Luther doll that you can buy for Christmas. You wind him up, and what does he do? He just stands there.”
30. Dr. Montgomery: “I get out my airline puke bag.”
31. Dr. Montgomery: “Academic life is intensive, but it certainly beats jail.” Zach: “But we’re paying for this.”
32. C.S. Lewis was asked by a media interviewer during WWII what he would think if he say a bomb dropped from a German plane coming straight down at him. “If you only had time for one last thought, what would it be?” Lewis replied that he would look up at the bomb, stick out his tongue at it and say, “Pooh! You’re only a bomb. I’m an immortal soul.”
33. Cate: “Well, I’m from Florida.” Dr. Montgomery: “I’m sorry, we all have our problems.”
34. Dr. Montgomery: “I was delighted to hear that one person went to Florida and it did nothing but rain.”
35. Dr. Montgomery: “Chaos is not necessarily bad: a good explosion once in awhile is not a bad idea.”
36. Dr. Montgomery: “We always have propaganda for guests.”
37. Dr. Montgomery: “Who invented these things? Whoever invented these things should be drawn and quartered.”
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Comments (1)
"Little Willie, dressed in sashes,
Fell into the fire and was burned to ashes.
By and by, the room grew chilly,
But nobody wanted to poke up Willie."