Dear God,
You must have heard me as I was driving down the highway the other day, thinking to myself, "Are you really there? And if so, what's on your mind?" Because then... I saw it. Your voice so clear. It was a sign! Literally. I sighed as I whispered with amazement, "You still speak." The big black billboard with white block letters really told me what I needed to hear...er...read. I had begin thinking that the Bible was all you were ever going to write to me. It's such a relief to know you're still in the writing business. My fears that you had died or disappeared have subsided some.
But God... It's been a couple days and... well... something just doesn't sit right with me. I know I'm probably like that moron Thomas, but I'm a little skeptical of your billboard. I guess it's just because it seems so... I don't know. Let me put it this way. Moses--burning bush and that whole exodus thing. Elijah- fire from heaven. In Daniel- writing on the wall. Jesus- voice from heaven, dove descending, graves splitting open, earthquakes, goin' through walls. Then a couple thousand years later you show up writing on billboards. What's up with that?
And honestly, I look around at the sunset and creation and I see your beauty and creativity. I see how people are able to create some real cool CGI stuff and I figured you could probably do better. (I'm sure you've heard of Photoshop.) But for some reason all we got from you was a black and white billboard with block letters. Really? You couldn't like paint something in the sky? I mean, I've seen more creativity from a seven year old with a crayon than your billboards. No offense. You couldn't like crash all of our computers in the name of Jesus? What about like a commercial during the Super Bowl in which you lead a prayer of salvation? No? I guess your ways are mysterious.
But until I hear otherwise, I'm just going to assume you've decided to speak through billboards. I'm thinking it would be okay to not read my Bible as much and just wait for your next round of billboards to come out. I'm excited to see what new things you have to say. Could you please tell me who to vote for in the next election? Or maybe tell me your reasoning for making hair grown on people's butts? Just give me something good and profound if you would so I can post it on my blog. But until then, I suppose I'll continue to search the highways for the next time you speak. Maybe you could get really crazy and use color even. Anyways. Glad you decided to speak to us Americans before the rest of the world. And glad to have you back. Hope to hear from you again soon.
-me
P.S. Since when do you go by the name "God" anyways? Didn't you tell Moses it was something else?
Comments (11)
HAHAHAAA
Oh, and I forgot to answer you. So sorry to leave you hanging, but I'll have to decline. Don't take it personally, it's just your name. My sisters both married Johns and so I've been forbidden due to the confusion it causes during family functions. Hope that I don't too greatly break your heart. I do hope that it will heal soon. :p
hahahahahaha
The "we need to talk." one really weirds me out. I'm thinking, "God is about to tell me he's pregnant or seeing other people."
Except mine was outwardly embarassing.
The real "nation" under me, if I'm reading my bible correctly, is the church.
The god this nation is under is nothing like the god that I read about in my bible.