Tuesday, July 24, 2007
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III. Humility
One of the reasons we can’t be honest is because we’re not very humble. Acknowledging our sinfulness and being honest about it, leads directly to humility. Yet the church world doesn’t hold up high the humble. It holds up high the pretty and well put togetherI’m convinced you can’t have community or honesty without humility. All these things are so intertwined. And it’s not one before the other. A person is in community because they recognize that life together is better than life alone. At the heart of this is the confession that we need other people. This is humbling. To honestly look at who you are in light of God leads us to recognize that we are no better than anyone else. This is the root of humility.
Community and honesty without humility is toxic. Community only works when we’re submitting to one another. Honesty is only beneficial when it is spoken out of a deep sense of grace and humility. Without humility community becomes a means of control or conformity. Honesty without humility becomes a dangerous ax used to take off the heads of others
Humility in churches leads us to love better. We’re able to love people who are different than us or disagree with us. People don’t object to humility.
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Comments (10)
True
It's very true that the 'church' says it values honesty, but then usually in being honest you are shooting yourself in the foot, so to speak...and opening yourself up for judgement. It's good to "be honest" as long as it is in the context of a put together story about victory. This past fall I was involved in a sort of scandal in our church along with some leadership, and confessed to the entire church and asked forgiveness. It was extremely humbling, and people reacted with love. As a church it has been hard to figure out how to walk out the details of that, and interesting to see people react with love at the time of confession...but also distance themselves. It's a long story, but....there definitely is a double standard when it comes to the church 'wanting us to be honest about sin'...and actually being honest and humble, without being judged...It makes me think of an Ani DiFranco song called pretty girl...she says something like...
"Imagine you're a girl, just trying to finally come clean...knowing full well they'd prefer you were dirty, and smiling."
Pretty much sums up the American Church at times...Man I really sound pessamistic. I'm not really at all, I mean...I thought about being a pessimist, but it probably wouldn't work out... ;)
Don't you think part of the problem with the lack of "community" in church is the same old parenting question of quality time vs. quantity? How can you possibly be "community" in an hour or two on Sunday morning? Even with honesty and humility. No matter how high the "quality" or intensity of the time, an hour or two a week is not enough quantity to develop a relationship with God or community with others.
I also don't think it's realistic to expect people to totally let down their hair (honesty) to an entire congregation, either - there are circles and circles of relationships. I think there's also a fine line in a pastor admitting an ongoing struggle with sin - yes it can make people feel he's "real," but some will also use that to excuse sin in their own lives, taking their eyes of Jesus and focusing on the pastor - well, if HE'S still struggling with xyz, gee, it's no surprise that I am. Must not be so bad after all... yada yada. Not that I mean the pastor should hide his struggles, I just think you have to be careful how you handle that.
Such a simple thing in theory... so hard to execute.
Thanks for your thoughts.
I agree with Mountford_and_Mackville - while it's good and important to have honesty and humility and open communication within ANY community, really, although particularly a church community - it is hard to open up to that many people. There would have to be a general consensus to not judge and to accept and work for the common good.
I agree with you though, that humility is good and important.
some of your other commentors make good points...it would be really hard to discern how to be super vulnerable with a large group of diverse people--some of whom might respond really poorly. i think it is better started on a smaller level...but eventually, i think, for other people to learn it, there have to be times where people take risks to be themselves even in situations where the response is not guaranteed.
i also love ceekadee's use of that lyric from "pretty girl." i've always liked that lyric, and felt it was true, but never applied it to the church environment specifically. that was an excellent call.
"Yet the church world doesn’t hold up high the humble." In a way, i think that's good, because then they'd probably cease to be humble. that's the way it usually seems to go anyway. i mean, i think they need to lift up the value of humility, but not the actual humble people, right?
oftentimes, we don't even realize we're not being humble because we're ready to acknowledge our flaws, but we don't do much about them or genuinely pray to overcome them. and when your pride and lack of humility trip you up, you learn a hard lesson...