Here are 10 things you should know before you walk into your local cell phone store. (Well ten with subpoints.)
- You cannot sign a two year contract and then come back in two months later and demand a new, free phone.
- If you're too dumb to get insurance, don't complain to me when your phone breaks.
- Renewing your contract (upgrading) doesn't get you anything when you haven't fulfilled your first contract.
- There's probably a reason the phone's free.
- These phones have been on the shelf for a while or they're trying to get rid of them.
- The phone really isn't free. Nothing is free. Hence the need for a contract.
- Spend the money on a new phone. It's the only one you're going to probably get for a couple years.
- I did not break your phone and I do not make it drop calls.
- Don't tell me you didn't break your phone when there's a crack across the screen. I really don't care how it got there. But you broke it.
- Do you take your car back to the dealership and demand a new car when your car breaks down? Then don't come see me either.
- It doesn't matter how much you pay each year or how long long you've been a customer. If we can't do something, we can't do something.
- There are a lot of deals just for new customers. That's just how it is.
- Don't threaten to leave. Just leave. Because at the same moment you're doing that, there are ten others at the other companies doing the same thing and will be coming over to replace you as a customer.
- Everyone's going to have a bad experience at some point.
- You can find people who love and hate the same company.
- Go to a "corporate store."
- Show some love to your local agent. Don't add features online, let your agent do it. It's the only thing we get money for pretty much. You can even call us and we'll do it. Support your local economy and not just the big corporation.
- You may get a cheaper deal online or through an agent, but this is quite risky. You oftentimes are getting a phone that's being sold as "new" but may have been used or even refurbished. If it was under their "trial" period, it's still considered "new."
- Cheaper deals have strings attached oftentimes. Most of the time you have to sign a contract with that vendor. That means you have 2 contracts now! And you're most likely going to get slammed with features you didn't want or ask for.
- You can't bring your jacked up phone you got online or at an authorized dealer to us to exchange. Just like you can't shop at walmart and return to Target. It doesn't matter that we sell the same stuff.
- If you don't text, learn to.
- Bluetooth
- is free. But that doesn't mean you can wear your headset 24/7. This is being a "blue tool."
- We will look at you funny if you're standing there talking on it.
- If you can't set it up, try the 4 step instruction book before driving all the way up to the store to ask me to.
- Don't waste time.
- Don't talk on your phone while someone is waiting to talk to you... in any situation.
- The color of phone really doesn't matter. So don't stand there for 30 minutes trying to decide.
- Use a credit/check card. It's really like the commercial. You slow things down. Cash is always good, but it's annoying. And if you write a check, you should have your phone taken away and be beaten with it.
- And never...ever...EVER be that person who is talking loudly on their phone in public. You just look like an ass. If someone can't hear you, talking louder isn't going to help. Tell that person to turn their volume up. If that doesn't work, send a text.
Comments (194)
Ha ha. Funny funny. Cingular did the whole, everytime you sign a contract, you get the new customer deal. Not sure if AT&T will continue that little torch.
as a former cell phone store manager, i concur!
*flashbacks to the old days*
gah!
Well thank you, I'll keep those in mind. :P
The thing that annoys me the most is when people get a new phone every month or so. They're always shocked that I've had the same phone for nearly six years.
OMG!! A "blue tool"!! LOL, I so have to remember that one. I see them EVERYWHERE.
This is very true, and very well-written. :) Thanks for posting this.
The only thing I'd add is: You don't need two cell phones. If you need more than one, you're probably up to something. And someone should tell your girlfriend/wife.
Great post!
okay lots of dpn'ts, gee thanks for making me ffeel like a complete moron and a revel at the same time
and all you cell phone sales people haning out at the malls ---
why the FUCK do you tell me I'll get a NRE free phone if only I talk to you for a 5 minutres, even though I've told you I'm already using your service
and sometime the connection is really bad, but ssshh, HELL no I'll be alowwes to raise my voice to make the other person hear me
All very true, and way too common. Well done.
but people wearing their bluetooth headset all the time think that they're so cool! i don't have the heart to tell them what losers they are. not because i feel bad about crushing their delicate egos... but because then i'd lose the opportunity to laugh at them everytime they walked by.
i know from the service side the hated statement is "the customer is always right", even though everyone knows that the customer isn't always right, they're not always wrong either.
there are many times where the customer service rep has said, "sorry, we can't do that" and a call to customer relations yielded, "of course we can do that" and then it gets done.
but for most points, i have the same view as you.
EVERYONE should learn to text.
I don't know about the contract part (I think different countries work differently on that), but for the rest, really, I just kept on thinking about my dad and middle-aged men while I read through this. They are just big offenders when it comes to cell phone don'ts.
Hah, blue tool. I'm going to have to remember that one.
Blue Tool. Very nice. Also, just because you are talking to somebody on your cell phone doesn't make it a private conversation. Everyone can still hear you describing your date/rash/sickness/family/friends/whatever.
I didn't know Bluetooth was free till my cousin told me two months ago. I knew a girl who was a Blue Tool. She had to constantly point to her ear each time me or my friends thought she was talking to us.
You are one funny dude.
My local store for my service provider has terrible service or I'd work directly with them. You stand there in line for an hour or more waiting to talk to them. Perhaps this is typical, but what bothers me more is that, when I try to call the local store, no one answers. It redirects me to corporate every time.
I may be switching service providers when I move. Any suggestions?
Funny list, by the way. Some good pointers too. I wouldn't go for the free phone unless I was desperate.
I had a friend who bought a nice, new phone with a new contract and two weeks later, without any provocation the phone began to act possessed. His provider refused to replace it. I'm assuming that means he didn't have insurance but, isn't there some sort of trial period?
Hope I'm not being bothersome with my questions. Again, nice post.
hahahahaha. nice! :)
Anyone who pays by check should be beaten by a much bigger and much harder piece of equipment.
this is why I'm with Verizon...they treat me right
Well said.
@EilisAngelos - I suggest T-Mobile. They have the best customer service around with tons of J.D. Powers Awards to prove it. They were rated at the top with Verison, in an all around study for 2007, however T-Mobile is less expensive than Version.
@EilisAngelos - long lines aren't always bad. that means that this place is popular. there's a reason. you can come to my store and we're really busy at times. or go down to the empty authorized dealer. but you're going to regret the empty dealer. calling doesn't work if they're busy. try calling mid morning or mid afternoon and during the week and see if they're busy.
typically there's a 30 day trial period on phones. there's a serious problem if the store won't take the phone back. contact your customer service representative.
Disclaimer: jedyfredy works for t-mobile. i'm partial to at&t. i would recommend getting the iPhone when the new 3G one hits the market in a couple months. it's the best phone on the market and time magazine's invention of the year. but every market tends to have a couple companies that have better coverage.
@freethinker777 - I see. I should probably note that this store is in the middle of Nebraska and I've called them at various times of the day. That said, it's still good to know what times are the best to call. I haven't even bothered in ages.
I currently have Alltel and I have excellent coverage just about anywhere I go. However, the plan I'm on is costing me a pretty penny and I don't even have unlimited texting. My phone is really old and it's in need of a replacement so I figured that, once I move to New Jersey, I might try something new. I actually wanted an iPhone but haven't looked into it thoroughly since I was unemployed and there was no point.
One of the things I love about my current phone is that I can use a memory card in it and swap files back and forth with my computer, using anything I'd like (or just about) as a ring tone. So, those are things I'd like in a new phone/company.
I don't like Verizon since Verizon phones are programmed to be unable to even Bluetooth with phones from another network to swap files. I hate stuff like that as well as paying ridiculous amounts of money for ringtones.
I don't know too much about T-mobile but my best friend has it and she had terrible coverage when we lived on the same campus in Texas and it's almost as bad now that she's back home in Arizona.
I don't really know much about at&t either except that they're the only company (I think) that you are able to use an iPhone with and my brother-in-law has one. He loves it.
Your thoughts?
Nice, that was great advice, hehehe. I'm personally partial to t-mobile or metro, but meh. T-mobile screwed me over badly and refused to help me try to figure out how to fix things, so... lol. Eh I'm one to talk though, I haven't gotten another cell since then so whatever. I look forward to using those tips whenever I finally get a new phone!
~Misa
So, in your experience, is kingofblur right and it's the middle-aged men who are the worst offenders? In my experience, those of us 40+ aren't much for texting unless we have teen- or college-aged kids... but we, personally, have unlimited texting and we all use it all the time. As far as the other pointers, I don't know that I'd expect that age group to be any worse than any other...
People who wear their bluetooth all the time remind me of the Borg on Star Trek.
@EilisAngelos - just look at the plans real well. at&t and verizon are typically same price. sprint and tmobile are cheaper. these also have inferior networks. bluetoothing songs from phones is based on the phones and not the network. the gsm network (which have sim cards) is better. verizon and sprint don't have an easy way for you to switch phones. iPhone is exclusive to at&t unless you hack it... not recommended to hack the iphone. you get what you pay for typically though.
@Mountford_and_Mackville - older adults tend to be the blue tools and the ones that talk loud. there's younger people that are blue tools, but they typically don't do the real loud talking in public.
@freethinker777 - I don't mean to be contrary but I have never come across a Verizon phone who could Bluetooth with anyone who wasn't Verizon. I thought it was maybe an individual phone thing as well until I cam across a friend who had the exact same phone as I did. We couldn't Bluetooth and his phone was incapable of moving files back and forth from the memory card to the phone, mine could. It was a little while ago but I just remember coming across things like that on his phone that weren't on mine. I've never been impressed with Verizon after that.