gatorquaker's Xanga Site - Weblog - Archives

Weblog » Archives » April 2004

Ever since I was a kid, my mom has continually scolded me about two things: 1) "Stop slouching! You look short!" 2) "Put on moisturizer! Dry face make you look old!" I've more or less ignored these comments with a shr…
- 4/26/2004 12:10:58 AM
- 0 comments
In front of the supermarket, I saw this old guy wearing a crossing-guard vest with the words, "HELP RETARDED CITIZENS" on it. I don't think it was in jest. Perhaps "mentally challenged" would've cost too much to print.…
- 4/24/2004 5:30:51 PM
- 2 comments
LAYER ONE:- Name: mike feng- Birthdate: March 20, 1979- Birthplace: Shanghai, China- Current Location: New York, NY- Eye Color: Brown- Hair Color: Black- Height: 5' 10”'- Righty or Lefty: Righty- Zodiac Sign: Pisces / Sc…
- 4/21/2004 11:00:57 PM
- 1 comments
Non-Verbs That Have Mysteriously Transformed Into Verbs in the Modern Vernacular: summer, as in "where do you summer?" This question is asked often by elitist New Yorkers who expect answers such as the Vineyard, Montau…
- 4/18/2004 11:53:36 PM
- 3 comments
Someone told me recently that, sometimes, people committing suicide by jumping off of buildings die before they hit the ground, heart stopping mid-fall due to the trauma of the act. I can see that. Once, when I was you…
- 4/13/2004 12:07:27 AM
- 2 comments
Sometimes, even in these twenty-first century days of spaceflight, cloning and cybersex, I am reminded of the caveman ancestry we all share. Like fire, for instance. Nothing is as primal nor innate as the ability to cr…
- 4/11/2004 11:36:37 PM
- 2 comments
This is why I love snowboarding. I was on a tow rope going up a steep slope in Breckenridge, a resort in Colorado. If you’re unfamiliar with this contraption, it’s what people used before chairlifts were invented. It’…
- 4/8/2004 12:08:51 AM
- 1 comments