| | dec 18, 2006
well, i had more exams today. art and wold studies, easy stuff. i'm dreading science german though. why do I have to be so stupid? *gets angry and kicks filing cabinet*
well, i learned that handwriting-dakota isn't capatable with microsoft. so it's suppoosed to look pretty, but for you people without the benefit of mac, it just looks plain.
oww, friggin carpeltunnel.
my wrist hurts too much to type anymore, but I'll get back to you!
~Mary
 yay! another icon i can add to my collection
READ THIS
*sighs*
so, my depression is getting really bad. do you really understand what it feels like to be so sad and lonely and tired that you feel suffocated? i just want to sit in the darkness and dissolve into it. other days i just want to stay in my bed for the rest of my life. other days i feel happy, but i know it false. i dont let myself be happy becuase i know i will fall even harder than i did before i was happy.
the only thing that keeps me from harming myself is music and art and poetry. but that sometimes that doesnt even work. wrists aren't the only places that can be cut, you know. and i will let you know that a day goes by without me thinking about dying. im just so sad and i dont know why.
AND TO ALL YOU FUCKING PEOPLE THAT TRY TO MAKE THEMSELVES "EMO", JUST FUCK OFF. unlike you, i have a problem. you don't want to feel this way.
i just don't like it that people try to act depressed. it's like mocking me. you see, when i was about seven or eight, my parents took me to this awsome Native American pow-wow. I was very interested about that stuff at the time. I had this native american costume, and stuff. but my parents said that it was very mocking, whatever that meant. then this elderly man explained to me that his people had a very rough time, and their costumes kind of was a symbol of their greatness, humbleness, and their hard times. the costume represented something more than a fashion statement. i didn't wear the dress becuase I didn't want to make a mockary of the struggles those people endure every day.
so what i'm saying is, people shouldn't present themselves as "Emo" unless they actually know what depression feels like.
eoh my fucking god i'm just so tired of people and their damn arrogance.
im not updating cuz i want people to read this^^
forgive me, i have this strange fascination with man angels |
| | Posted 12/18/2006 3:06 PM - 1 view - 18 comments
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