{From Wendy's Care Page}

We are GROANING!!!!   Please groan with us and intercede for Elijah.

                                                                           

"And in the same way the Spirit also helps our weakness; for we do not know how to pray as we should, but the Spirit Himself intercedes for us with GROANINGS too deep for words; and He who searches the hearts know what the mind of the Spirit is, because He intercedes for the saints according to the will of God."

Groaning has become such a part of me that sometimes I can't function like I use too due to the longevity and consistency of the groaning.

WHAT DO YOU DO?
When your little boy's face and body are so distorted in the control of a seizure; yet you can read his eyes that say help me I'm scared.  What do you do?

When his belly growls all night because the battle that rages in him from the meds that argue "I'm starving" but the stronger voice says, "I can't eat cuz my belly hurts too much." What do you do?

When you feed him cuz he has to eat, but because his taste buds change due to meds, that he spits it up cuz it makes him sick.  What do you do?

What do you do when the seizures are so hard that he groans to you that you have come to understand and "carry me to the bathroom cuz I have no control over my body," because the seizure was so hard he can't move.  What do you do?

When valium and oxygen become a fixture in your home that you hope to stop using someday, but keep returning too with much grief.  What do you do?

When your body feels so full of pain from the ache in your heart that you wish it would all end.  What do you do?

When you have guilt (maybe false guilt, but still guilt) and fear of regret nipping at your heels like a rabid dog.  What do you do?

When your little boy has had so many seizures and bad days in a row that your heart can hardly bear it; yet he sits and draws with his shaky little hand pictures of Jesus on a cross over and over.  What do you do?

When you've done all there is to do, meds, surgeries and yet he keeps returning to the "downhill side of this disease.  What do you do?

What do you do when he wants to be independent for a minute and be a big brother to his little sister, and walk her a few feet away from you to buy her candy, and then she has to be the big sister that runs to get help cuz he is in a seizure.  What do you do?

What do you do when he finally gets in the water just feet away from you up to his chest and enjoys himself... long enough to go under in a seizure.  You grab him and he is in a seizure so hard you can hardly lift him out of the water.  You scream.  You cry.  And yet he still is seizing and choking on water.  What do you do?

When every "thud" or "bump" causes your heart to stop and then start again as you race to find the source of the sound assuming it's your little one in a seizure.  What do you do?

When your body awakens in the night every time your little one stirs as you lay in silent prayer hoping it's not "another one".  What do you do?

When he again is struggling to swallow and talk and you spend your every moment trying to figure out why.  Asking yourself is it the meds, the Vagal Nerve Stimulator, the seizures?  What do you do?

When bad days out number good days.  What do you do?

All I can do is GROAN!!!!!!!!! and believe in my heart it is being heard by The CREATOR of my little boy who loves him even more than I. 

~ Wendy