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(my regular blog is at http://art.allzah.com)

Horoscope for: Tuesday, December 13, 2005 Yesterday | TODAY | Tomorrow Heather, Although you may be effectively communicating your ideas at work, your heart really isn't in it. You are more interested now in a variety of emotional experiences. Remember, this isn't about making a choice. Rather, it's about finding the proper balance between your career and the personal parts of your life.

It's true that I have been feeling more drawn by my emotional experiences - I feel I am out from under the influence of the Zoloft and I actually feel very good.

I still get frustrated and stressed, but in some areas of my life I have chose to ignore or detach from - and I can see why some people wall themselves off - because when you wall up and detach you can feel less.  That's never been my M.O. before, but in some cases I think I kept trying and trying and after a while overload of hurt and stress occured - and icing over helps a lot.  I guess it's the only thing you can do - a mode of self preservation.  In other areas of my life though I am still very emotional, but not bad - just feeling loving and close and happy.

We're going to Virginia Beach Christmas day to visit my family.  Will is coming along.  We are staying at my sister's.  She is the only one who will have us and our sinful ways.  She made me cry on the phone when she said, "Heather, you consider the people that live at your house your family, that makes them my family too." 

I had been very irritated with my parents and all the judging and then she said that and I started to cry and told her, "You are the first person who has said that to me."  It felt nice to be accepted.  I didn't realize how much hurt I'd built up from everybody being so ugly and indifferent about things.

Life is a strange and wonderous path.  Sometimes the ice helps, sometimes it just makes you chilled to the bone.