So my Mac arrived and it's been wonnaful. Even got to watch the next-to-the-last episode of Top Chef (we missed the season finale--spent that time out in the wilderness instead), so don't ya'll go spillin' the beans, now, hear?
The thing about working with kids is that you get to be part of these great conversations. Unfortunately, being as I'm not a kid anymore, I quickly forget many of these quirky exchanges, but I've got these two rattling around in my brain. Banana, there was another one from the reunion. Can you remember it?
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Thora: Mr.J, I'll trade you my three kids for your dog. (it was a rough day, trust me)
Mr.J: Really. Just the three kids? And you think that's a fair exchange?
Thora: Well, I could throw in the mini-van and a brand new box of diapers.
Mr. J: How long before I could sell them on the black market?
Thora: At least a week.
Mr.J: No Deal.
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(I sort of tuned into this one midway, and it was a conversation that lasted about 30 minutes between my two oldest, so you're just getting the highlights, edited and/or jumbled a bit as it suits my purposes.)
Mayhem: Well, I'll be getting married soon (she's four, by the way) and I really need to find the right guy.
Chaos: I know...I'm going to start looking when I'm six, on July 1.
Mayhem: When I get married, I'm going to invite Mom. And Dad. Because they'll have to drive me to it.
(At this point Smiddy and I interjected, informing them that while we won't necessarily have to drive her, we'll probably be shelling out the dough, and we sure better be invited.)
Chaos: Will you get married at the day or at the night?
Mayhem: Well, it will be long, so at the night.
Chaos: All you have to do is listen to the man and then kiss. That won't take long.
Mayhem: But I'm going to hide the ring, and we'll have to find it. And then he will hide my ring and we will find it.
Chaos: That will take a long time.
Mayhem: I think I'll marry Austin. But he doesn't like me. Chaos, how do I make him like me?
Chaos: You do something he likes.
Mayhem: Like what?
Chaos: You could send him a card.
(much debate ensued over proper card-sending etiquette, what colors mr. Austin might prefer, and his supposed reaction to said card)
Mayhem: It sure seems like a lot of work just to make him like me.
Thora: (interjecting again) Well, what if God has another boy out there for you to marry, and you just haven't met him yet?
Mayhem: Mom, I already know Austin. I might as well start there!
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I do so love my children.
We took them to the rec center today, and Frenzy may have been single-handedly responsible for closing down both the indoor and outdoor leisure pools. I swear, she was wearing a swim diaper, and I was keeping an eye on her, and then suddenly there was mustard-y stuff floating in the water. Just a little. Got her out of there, discovered the slime running up her back, and decided our swim was over. After we were all dressed, we explored the Rec Center a little, and I happened to notice that the pool was clearing out. By the time we left, not a soul was in there. Coincidence?
Comments (9)
LOL about the pool. I was at the public pool a couple of days ago (well like 3 days this week actually) and one day they had the big pool completely shut down because someone had puked in it. ick. Although I'm sure that is just a fraction of what happens there. I really can't let myself think about it too much.
LOVED the marriage convo. Priceless.
Sounds like Mayhem has a good head start. *LOL* "May as well start there...." That cracked me up!! *LOL*
Oh gosh- that was funny about the pool. I'm sure if I were in the pool- it wouldn't have been as funny- but as a spectator from afar....it's hilarious that one little guy can cause so much havoc on so many peoples lifes. (grin)
-Cass
RUT ROH! Clear the pool! Attention, Clear the pool!!!!. I have to agree with the above comment...it is funny as long as we are not the ones in the pool.
I am so glad you are recording these wise conversations that your children have because....someday....it will make for great memories....
funny stuff!
I love kid conversations. :)I love the conversation about Mr. Austin. (He must have a really good shirt, if she wants him that badly.)
A few years ago we took the kids to the community pool--Elvis was still a baby, and we'd brought swim diapers, but the clerk at the front desk informed us that swim-diaper-wearing patrons were required to wear fabric swim diapers-- not the disposable kind that fit flat against the back, but the reusable fabric kind that are poofy, "so when fecal matter happens, it doesn't leak out the back." I turned to my husband and asked, "Did she just say, 'fecal matter happens'?" Fortunately, they were selling the reusable fabric swim diapers that trap fecal matter within the walls of their poofiness, for the low, low price of $10 each. We still have that swim diaper somewhere. I think we may have used it once since then. Frankly, I have never trusted it to do the job. But perhaps I've been foolish. What kind of swim diaper was Frenzy wearing when the fecal matter happened? Was it the disposable kind that fits flat against the back, or was it the poofy fabric kind? I must know.
@madhousewife - Well, of course it was the cheap disposable kind! I didn't even know that poufy fabric ones existed. Oh, the horror, the drama...the embarrassment of not being able to hit the pool again without being labeled as the cheap family whose disposable swim diaper failed when "fecal matter happened".
I'll trade ya 3 dogs and a kid.
I'll take all three of your kids and give you one slightly surly teenage boy - LOL
I love listening to kids conversations. At our old house we had a deck that went across the back and I would be in the kitchen and the kids would be playing and I could over hear their conversations, they were too funny.
Mayhem seems like she has a good head on her shoulders regarding marriage.
I would make sure to remind her about the hiding the ring part when she does get married.
haha i LOVE your children. she might have a further problem with austin tho... he thinks that I'm his girlfriend... but I'm sure if she swang with him, rolled down hills with him and learned about tractors and farms she'd have it made.
the one I remember didn't actually happen at the reunion. it was after we came back.
mayhem: my pretend mom is Really old... she's going to die soon.
chaos: how old is she?
mayhem: THIRTEEN! (profound use of emphasis)
chaso: wow that is old!
mayhem: and my pretend daddy... he's only 65...