|
SubscriptionsSites I Read
|
|
|
|
| Craving Intimacy.Something that's been on my mind.
God created women to be loved and protected. A woman who craves intimacy is responding to the natural, dare I say even - biological? need to be cared for and emotionally close to someone (Genesis 3:16). In the right context, it's biblical and beautiful. In the right context, it means a man and a woman who are devoted to each other and mutually committed to meeting each others' emotional and physical needs (I Corinthians 7:3). It means the absence of guilt, and it means the ability to worship God. It means being able to share your heart and your life with someone without fear of judgement. It means a wife who is secure in the fact that her husband will always be there to love and care for her and doesn't have to worry about whether he is going to leave because he decides he's bored with her (Ephesians 5:28).
The problem, as with so many other things in this world, is that it gets taken out of its proper context. We get impatient. We see something desirable, we feel the craving of the flesh, and we listen to what the world has to say. We forget, or we never really fully believe, God's promise of blessing when we obey His command to keep the marriage bed undefiled.
The world tries desperately to satisfy the need for intimate human relationship (I'm not even remotely going in the direction of an analogy to Christ and the church here. Take it at face value). If physical or emotional intimacy is what you need, then take it. Get it. Chase after it. Flirt with that guy so he'll tell you that you're cute. Spend the night with your boyfriend. Enjoy the feeling of your body pressed up against his. Feel safe in his arms. Give him what he wants. This one's not good enough? Move on to the next. There are no consequences. Chase the moment. Don't be old-fashioned. Do what feels good.
In this context, intimacy only steals away from God's blessing in marriage. It's ironic, isn't it? In our unwillingness to obey God, we ruin the very image of the perfect intimacy that we so desire. We are left with guilt, anger, accusation, unrest, jealousy, bitterness, confusion, and brokenness. Even though we may not "defile" the marriage bed, per se, I think that a lot of Christian women (myself included) still buy into the idea that it's okay to push the boundaries, that I lose nothing when I am physically intimate (in any way) with a man who is not my husband. We settle for less. We give ourselves to any guy who is good looking and willing to call us beautiful. Instead of being something beautiful and biblical, our desire to be loved becomes enslaving, and we lose sight of what the goal really ought to be.
God calls us to something that transcends biology. God says that a committed, secure, intimate marriage relationship consists of one man who is bound to one woman, whose body belongs only to his wife, and hers to him, as long as they both shall live (I Corinthians 7:4). I don't want to expound too long on this, because honestly, I have no idea what marriage is supposed to be like. I do know that it's not supposed to be about bitterness and divorce and alimony and fighting for custody of children.
Suffice to say, I want (or at least, want to want) what God offers.
So what do I do? I still am subject to the flesh, and biology is not lost on me (except as an academic subject, with apologies to Mrs. Carlson). I would suggest that our responsibility as Christian women is to use this desire as a motivation for modesty and propriety in our behavior. In other words, I think that the proper attitude is: I want biblical intimacy, and I want it so badly that I am going to do whatever it takes right now to protect it. I am not going to try to have it before its proper time. I am not going to say suggestive things, I am not going to wear things that invite men to follow certain trains of thought (I am resisting the urge to discuss modesty in clothing in more depth... maybe another time), and I am not going to take refuge in the thought of a man who is not my husband. I am going to be aware of what is and is not proper behavior for Christian men and women to be engaging in with each other (I Thessalonians 4:3). I am going to carefully consider what the Word says about how I ought to be treating my brother in Christ, and if any of my actions or words are going to steal from the intimacy of his relationship with his wife (I Thessalonians 4:6, sort of).
In other words, my fight for holiness and propriety is fueled by my desire to experience intimacy as God intended it - in the context of marriage and without the brokenness that comes from giving myself to more than one man. My body belongs to my husband, and until we are married, it is my responsibility to keep it a secret from others. It is my gift to him, and to him only.
God's intention of intimacy as something that is holy, permanent, and an image of Christ and the church (okay, I guess I had to throw that in at some point... Ephesians 5:25). It's the only thing that makes possible our dream of perfect intimacy, of being cherished by someone as something precious. It means security and peace rather than the world's offering of lust and guilt.
Sheesh, does this mean that I can't even hold hands with someone? Am I so prude that I think kissing is a sin? I think that these are the wrong questions. Man is the one who judges the outward appearance, who looks at an action and deems it clean or unclean. God judges the heart, and He sees our motivations. Not only so, but He promises blessing in obedience. So the issue I struggle with is not what is or is not acceptable behavior, but how much do I really believe in God's blessing? How much do I really believe that God's way is ultimately more satisfying than the world's?
I'm working on it. The world can keep its Sex and the City and Grey's Anatomy. I want the Song of Solomon. | | |
| God's way is always better. | | |
| Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good;
For His lovingkindness is everlasting.
Psalm 118:1
Hatred stirs up strife,
But love covers all transgressions.
Proverbs 10:12
A friend loves at all times,
And a brother is born for adversity.
Proverbs 17:17
And He said to him, "'You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind.' This is the first and foremost commandment. The second is like it, 'You shall love your neighbor as yourself.'"
Matthew 22:37-39
For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life.
John 3:16
If you love Me, you will keep My commandments.
John 14:15
This is My commandment, that you love one another, just as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends.
John 15:12-13
Who will separate us from the love of Christ? Will tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword?
Romans 8:35
Be devoted to one another in brotherly love; give preference to one another in honor.
Romans 12:10
Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
I Corinthians 13:4-7
For this reason I bow my knees before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth derives its name, that He would grant you, according to the riches of His glory, to be strengthened with power through His Spirit in the inner man, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith; and that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ which surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled up to all the fullness of God.
Ephesians 3:14-19
And this I pray, that your love may abound still more and more in real knowledge and all discernment, so that you may approve the things that are excellent, in order to be sincere and blameless until the day of Christ; having been filled with the fruit of righteousness which comes through Jesus Christ, to the glory and praise of God.
Philippians 1:9-11
Beyond all these things put on love, which is the perfect bond of unity.
Colossians 3:14
Do not love the world nor the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him.
I John 2:15
See how great a love the Father has bestowed on us, that we would be called children of God.
I John 3:1
We know love by this, that He laid down His life for us; and we ought to lay down our lives for the brethren.
I John 3:16
Little children, let us not love with word or with tongue, but in deed and truth.
I John 3:18
In this is love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins.
I John 4:10 | | |
| Some thoughts on Christianity and government.I have been disturbed recently by the growing voice of the "social conservative," the Christian who wants to elect a president who will legislate morality and enforce the laws of God as his first priority. I reject this for two reasons. The first is that the president does not legislate, Congress does.
Okay, kidding aside: The first reason is that the only one who can enforce God’s laws is God. The second is that government distracts Christians from their individual responsibility to live righteously and make known the gospel of Jesus Christ.
It really bothers me that Christians insist and expect that the world should live according to God’s holy standards. I do believe that sin is unacceptable in the eyes of God and will ultimately be judged, but trying to institute holiness using human law indicates a failure to understand that only God can judge sin. It is not our responsibility to demand righteousness from and dole out punishment to those who are unsaved. At the most basic level, this just doesn't work. We are told in I Corinthians 1:18 that the word of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing. Paul even goes so far as to say in Romans 8:7 that a sinful mind is unable to submit to the law of God.
Why then does "compassionate conservatism" demand that our human laws punish those who break the laws of God? Is it because we don't understand the difference between those who are slaves to sin and those who are slaves to righteousness (through the redeeming work of the cross)? Is it because we forget our own depravity outside of the grace of Jesus Christ? Is it because we feel that others should have to feel guilty since we do? The point is, demanding holiness, punishing unrighteousness, and offering forgiveness are the business of God, not of us and not of government.
It also bothers me that Christians rely on the legislation of morality because it distracts them from their personal responsibility to live out the gospel. When we depend on the government to determine what is and is not morally acceptable, we forget our own calling to share the gospel through being examples of righteousness. We are all so concerned about getting the government to preserve sanctity of marriage that we forget to preserve the sanctity of our own marriages (Christians are statistically just as likely as non-Christians to get a divorce). We are so busy raising our voices to demand that the world respect the sanctity of life that we cannot see the hypocrisy in our continuing demand for military action that destroys hundreds of thousands of lives (when did Jesus Christ kill another man to protect His own safety?).
We think that somehow if we can get the federal government to tell people what's right and wrong, that if we can call ourselves a “Christian nation,” then we won't have to deal with explaining – or perhaps even showing by example! – why God says that we ought to live one way or another. We support a war that seeks to combat radical Islam with violence rather than trusting in the power of the gospel to reach the farthest corners of the earth. Jesus commanded his disciples to spread the gospel throughout the world, but we seem to have misinterpreted “gospel” to mean “democracy.” I personally find democracy to be a poor substitute for the truth of the gospel.
The church is the only institution on earth to which God gives any sort of authority for dealing with human depravity. I use the term "authority" loosely because I not mean that we have the right to tell people what to do. I mean that God has given members of the church principles for living in this world and dealing with the hurt and brokenness that we see in ourselves and in those around us. Those principles involve sharing the love and compassion of Christ and relying on His strength, not making sure that our government is passing laws to legislate morality. Paul cautions Timothy (II Timothy 3:1-5) that there will be all kinds of unrighteousness and immoral behavior in the last days. To think that we or our human government could have some power to change people and make them live righteously is presumptuous and naive. The only power that can be invoked to transform lives is the power of the cross. As Paul commands Timothy, our responsibility is only to continue to preach the gospel with endurance. We may plant and water, but only God causes growth and true change.
The government also interferes with the direct exhortation (James 1:27) for the church to care for the poor widows and orphans. We have turned this responsibility over to the government and are content to pay our taxes and let welfare take care of those that need compassion. Why should anyone seek the church when the government will ease their suffering? The church needs to resume responsibility for demonstrating compassion and reaching out to those in need.
God calls us to be salt and light (Matthew 5:13) and to desire that the world might taste and see that the Lord is good (Psalm 34:8). He calls us to preach the gospel boldly and show compassion, but instead we are hiding behind this idea that as long as we vote leaders into power that will tell others what right and wrong are and take care of the poor for us, we have fulfilled that responsibility. This is a lie.
Mike Huckabee quipped once at a Republican debate that "Jesus was too smart to ever run for public office." It is not a matter of intelligence, though. When the Jews tried to make Him their king in John 6:15, Jesus withdrew because His ministry on earth was not to sit on high and demand righteousness. Instead, it was to walk with sinners and develop personal relationships with them, and to lead by example in an unrighteous world. Why have we wandered so far from His example?
Does Scripture not command us to be in this world but not of this world? I would suggest to you that if you expect our government to bear the responsibility for the spiritual direction of this country, you diminish both your personal responsibility and the responsibility of the body of Christ as a whole to be reaching out with the message of the gospel. Ultimately, it comes down to this: a secular government cannot solve spiritual problems.
Having rejected the idea of legislating morality, let me explore briefly what God says in the Bible about earthly government. I mean "briefly" very literally, because the answer is "not much." Outside of God's detailed direction for the government of Israel (as His chosen people), He says little about forms of government or the laws of men or elections. What we do know is that all authority is established by God (Romans 13:1), and we are told to be subject to this authority while in deference to the authority of God (I Peter 2:13-15). We are to pray for those in authority, not so that they will help us make laws to stop immoral behavior, but so that they will let us live godly lives in peace (I Timothy 2:1-2).
I would be challenged to find other verses commanding us concerning earthly government that do not fall under these principles. Ultimately, it doesn't matter what system of government we follow, what political parties are in power, or which judges sit in the Supreme Court. Our only responsibility is to submit to this authority and pray for it, as God has commanded.
The discussion of government then turns to a matter of preference. Persecution in both the early and the modern church has been instituted by governments that severely restrict the liberty of their citizens. I submit to you then that Christians should be interested in less government, particularly at the federal level.
The problem with wanting government to tell other people how to live their lives is that you have opened the door for the government to turn around and tell you how to live your life. Once you give the government authority to interfere with your personal liberty, there will inevitably come restrictions that impede your ability to practice your faith as you please. Less government means fewer restrictions on where we can talk about God, fewer restrictions on how we raise and discipline our children, and more freedom to be personally responsible (as we are all individually accountable to God). Less government means that your money does not go to support abortion clinics and state-sponsored sex education.
Less government means being left alone to live a godly life in peace. Again, I would like to emphasize that Paul's exhortation to Timothy was to pray simply that the government would leave us alone to live godly lives in peace. The more we entangle ourselves in the intricacies of our secular government and the more we worry about their power over us, the more we give them an opening to dictate how we live and the more we give ourselves an excuse for our failure to discipline our children and exhibit self-control. No matter what the state of our society is, we are called to be holy.
Let me bring this train of thought back within the context of the upcoming presidential elections. Many of the candidates (particularly Republicans) try to court the “social conservatives” by saying that they will use government to “uphold the sanctity of marriage” and “protect the sanctity of life.” My argument is that these guys don’t understand what it means to follow the example of Jesus. I am not saying that it is wrong to support a candidate who is a Christian, but be wary if he pronounces that his administration's policies, rather than the work of Christ, will restore morality to a people who are lost. Certainly don’t look just for candidates who make these kinds of grand (but ultimately empty) statements when making your informed voting decision.
If you know me well at all, you know that the motivation for this post was the candidacy of Dr. Ron Paul. If you agree with me that less government is good for Christians, I urge you to consider the candidacy of Dr. Ron Paul. Dr. Paul is a 10th term congressman and medical doctor whose political career has been dedicated to upholding the Constitution and restricting the size and power of the federal government. He is an intelligent, polite, informed, and well-spoken gentleman who has been married to the same woman for 50 years. Unlike most politicians, he demonstrates integrity by not changing his message based on who is listening. He is a Christian, but refuses to use this for political leverage or as a bargaining chip.
In a public statement of faith released in July 2007, Dr. Paul says, “I have never been one who is comfortable talking about my faith in the political arena. In fact, the pandering that typically occurs in the election season I find to be distasteful. But for those who have asked, I freely confess that Jesus Christ is my personal Savior, and that I seek His guidance in all that I do. I know, as you do, that our freedoms come not from man, but from God. My record of public service reflects my reverence for the Natural Rights with which we have been endowed by a loving Creator.”
I am excited about the presidential campaign of Ron Paul because he is a candidate that inspires by an example of integrity, not by empty rhetoric. He does not give grand speeches on the value of family, because his example (one wife, five children, and eighteen grandchildren) is louder and more powerful than words could ever be. He does not promise that the government will tell us what’s right and wrong, because he understands that this is not the role of the government. He does not promise that the government will end poverty, because he knows that only compassion can effectively combat poverty. He does not promise that the government will take care of us forever, because he believes in the personal responsibility of every individual.
Dr. Paul’s own life is a compelling story of integrity and compassion. For example, based on his belief in limited government and individual responsibility, he did not find it necessary to accept government-subsidized Medicare or Medicaid from patients in his medical practice. When patients were unable to pay, he did not compromise his principles. Instead, he demonstrated true Christian compassion and concern for his patients by either working out an individual payment plan for them or simply caring for them for free.
He wants to the government to leave you alone to decide how to raise your children and how to spend your money. He wants the authority to declare war to be restored to Congress so that we do not engage in more hasty, senseless violence and bloodshed. He wants you to stand up and be responsible for yourself.
There is a lot more I want to say about Dr. Paul, but I know that no one speaks better for Ron Paul than Ron Paul. Please take some time to visit his campaign website at http://www.ronpaul2008.com to read more on where he stands on the issues. The corporate media is fairly dismissive of Dr. Paul, but an abundance of information is available online at websites such as http://www.ronpaullibrary.org or with a simple Google search.
| | |
|
