Thursday, February 28, 2008

• Marriage Politics...

   

  ... and the crazy policies!!

   

  I can't say I have a perfect marriage.  Then again, who can?  Like any other couple in this world, +1 and I have our fair share of disagreements, sparring matches, and FITS OF LAUGHTER.  You see, we have some very simple policies enacted the night +1 first moved in with me.  Here are some:

  1) KISS EACH OTHER EVERY MORNING AND EVERY NIGHT.  This isn't as easy as it seems.  Different schedules and both parties being so busy easily means you may forget to just touch or kiss each other every day.  When we wake up, regardless of morning breath or whatever, we kiss before we get out of bed.  Before we leave, we kiss again.  When we get home, we kiss, and finally, before we go to bed, we kiss and kiss and kiss and... hahahaha!

  2) NEVER GO TO BED ANGRY.  You know how it goes.  You have a spat and things die down, but when it's time for bed, you either force him to the couch or you turn your back to your loved one.  You may have stopped the verbal argument, but the emotional and physical argument is far from over.  Please, don't do this to each other, your kids, or your marriage.  If you're going to argue, take a 30 second time out, collect your thoughts and emotions and try to discuss it calmly.  If it means you have to talk all night and into the early morning, then do it.  Say everything you have to say and don't go to bed until you've BOTH spoken your mind.  You may be tired for work the next day, but at least you know the issue is fully resolved.  And by that, I mean NEVER BRING IT UP AGAIN.  If you do, it means you never truly resolved it. 

  3) THE FIRST ONE TO MAKE THE OTHER LAUGH IS THE WINNER OF THE ARGUMENT.  It's literally come to this.  If we get into an escalated argument, we try to make the other laugh, cuz once we start laughing, we start hugging, kissing, and then we're calm enough to really resolve the issue at hand.  Trust me, it's worked wonders for us, so it can work for you, too!

  4) DON'T KEEP SECRETS, ESPECIALLY NOT ABOUT MONEY.  Say what you will about money, but it's a top reason for divorces.  +1 and I decided from the very beginning of our relationship that we would be honest about our finances and we would pool our money.  He makes four times what I make, but we never differentiate the moola.  Why?  Because it's better this way!  It's simply "our money" and we decide what's the best way to spend it or save it or even invest it!  We discuss our expenses openly with each other as well as things we'd like to purchase.  That's not to say I have to consult him or him, me when we want to purchase something.  We'll buy what we want, but we always keep our budget in mind!  We leave the big purchases ($1,000+) up for discussion before pulling the trigger. 

  5) BE INTIMATE OFTEN!  I'm not saying you have to have sex every night of the week!  Let's face it, most of the time, I'm too tired to get all sexied up and put all that work into sex.  For the both of us, we're happy being able to watch a movie in bed together.  This is one of my FAVORITE things to do.  I love to fall asleep in +1's arms while watching SCRUBS re-runs.  Please have sexual relations at least twice a week though.  That's just healthy. 

   

  Since I've grossed you all out, I'll just stop here.  HAHAHAHA!!

   

  NEXT TIME:  WHY ME, GOD?  WHY ME?!!!!  Why wedding budgets suck!

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