Tuesday, May 20, 2008
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An honest post: I'm not a good friend...
I'm terrible at holding up my end of friendships. Thus, there are few people I would consider 'friends'. It's not like I haven't had people who have been very friendly and kind toward me. I have. It's important to draw a distinction between being social/extroverted, and actually being friends with someone. I am a very outgoing individual. I talk with folks a lot, sometimes I listen as well. But I rarely allow myself to be vulnerable in the way that mutual friendship demands. I guess I feel that others will be disappointed in me, or they won't approve of who I really am. I believe this mindset has robbed me of many good friendships over the past fifteen years. Currently, there is only one person in my life that I would consider a friend (besides my wife, of course). I've known him for years, and he's never been afraid to tell me the truth as he sees it, even if I don't like it at the time. I told him a few days ago how bad I am at being a friend. To my surprise, he said that I'm about the only friend he has as well. Maybe I'll be able to hold up my end this time. I hope so. I just don't want to open myself up to others only to have my thoughts, dreams, and heart tread upon by someone who doesn't really care.
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Comments (1)
I'm the same way, there's only one person, other than curtis i consider a friend. Other than that there are alot of people i am friendly with, I think it just has to do with being real, , i dont like being friends with alot of people because there is so much fronting and fakeness, if you will.. lol, that goes on, i like to be totally real- the way I act talk look, and alot of people dont like that