Ok, so our vacation is almost over, and we have to get on a plane in just about 24 hours.  The theme of our trip?  "When you moving back?"

It would seem that having Caleb prompts everyone to ask us when we are moving back "home."  the problem is that "home" is a one place for some ,and  a different place for others.  My family in TN asked that question, and our friends, and Christy's family in IN asked it here in indy.  It would be easy to move back to one place or the other.  I have had job offers, getting a place to live would be easy, we would be around family and some good friends.  It would only be natural.

God has called us, however, to a supernatural lifestyle.  I don't mean anything flashy, or elaborate.  What I do mean is that He has called us to give Him the reigns of our lives, and let Him steer.  For us to look at our circumstances, and do things the natural would rule out much of His divine intervention in our lives.  We would be left with a good life.  We would, however, miss out on His BEST for our family.  We cannot do that.  I as the leader of my family simply cannot settle for "good" when BEST is available.

I think of something a missionary friend of mine told me when I visited him in Europe a few years ago.  He was still somewhat new to the area, and was having difficulty with the language (Polish it was) not to mention the difficulty of bridging the cultural gap, and combatting the religious stereotypes.  He said that he thought to himself that he could always "go home."  He could go on staff at his sending church, and have a comfortable life back here in the states.  It wasn't until he resigned himself to living there in Poland no matter what that he was able to be effective in his ministry.  That story reminds me of what Jesus said in Luke 9:62 "But Jesus said to him, 'No one, after putting his hand to the plow and looking back, is fit for the kingdom of God.'" 

God doesn't want to be number one on a list of ten things in my life, or even number one on a list of five.  He wants to be NO. 1 on a list of ONE.  That means that right now we live in Florida, and we must deal with the heartache of not seeing so many people that we love so much.  That is why we cherish the time that we can spend with our family and friends "back home."  Our real home is in heaven anyway, so someday we will finally go HOME, and then all this world and it's difficulties, and inconveniences will be a thing of the past.

maybe this is a copout, but then again, maybe not.  I haven't blogged in a while, and I think i know why.  i was in a conversation the other day with 3 of my closest friends while celebrating Christy's birthday, and found that when i started to interject into the conversation i had nothing in mind to actually say.  i guess at this point in my life i've got nothing to say, so i decided to try to be a better listener, and doer of what i already know.  in the mean time here is a blog post from one of my closest friends who couldn't be at Christy's b-day celebration due to being on the other side of the globe....

from Ben Morrisson

okay, so i realize that by the very fact i am writing this on my blog, it will be quite ironic and possibly self-incriminating.  but i was just kinda thinking the other day about how prevelant "the blog" and similar "web 2.0" phenomena (i.e. youtube, facebook, etc.) have become.  suddenly everyone and their mom (but rarely their grandma) has become a published internet-author.  and at the same time i began thinking about how everyone is churning out more and more "mass communication", reaching out to be heard and, more importantly, to be known. and yet it seems that all this mass communication has had a diminishing effect on individual communication. 

maybe its just me, but i think that since the advent of blogging, the amount of personal emails that i write to people (and people write to me) has probably gone down. (i'd really love to see some kind of statistic on how blogs have affected individual emailing.  anyone wanna take a poll?)  at the least the size of the emails has gone down considerably.  now its like: "doin good.  how bout you?  check my blog for more."  maybe you remember back in the day when if you wanted to write your friends basically the same things about yourself, you would at least have the decency to copy/paste a paragraph into a personal e-mail and keep up a semblance of individual communication?  (c'mon, you know you've done it.  admit it! :)  now there is this great big "digital, global village" where we all live right next door, but remain strangers... or at best just give a quick wave across the virtual lawn to one another. 

its like we are willing to put effort into pouring out our hearts into cyberspace and can only hope that someone, anyone will listen or appreciate it (which really means appreciate us).  some may say they just blog "for themselves"... i don't buy it.  if that were true, there's this antiquated device called a journal/diary we'd be using instead.  and though i have seen a few random blogs out there that really get "discussion" going on some controversial topic, i don't know that i've seen a comment that echoed back a deep, heart-pouring-out response.  in fact, the public nature of a blog makes it near impossible.  like lovers who whisper in seclusion, perhaps the intimate relationship of true friends is meant to be hidden from mere observers.  its like everybody is out there in cyberspace trying to be heard and the more people talk, the more we forget how to listen.  people are longing for someone to hear their heart and answer in kind.  what i suppose is a little disconcerting about the age of blogs is that we think that we can actually do this outside of real, deep, one-on-one personal friendship.  granted, i think blogs can maybe link people up, help begin new friendships (or rekindle old ones), but its deceptive to think that mass posting can replace good, old-fashioned, individual communication.  it can't.  not that any of us CONSCIOUSLY think that, but it seems that the very nature and popularity of the blog subtly imply it.  

perhaps in turn we blog also to have a voice in the world, to matter on some universal level, to contribute something of worth.  as a medium of information, a mass communication device, yeah, its great.  businesses have caught on to it and are using it efficiently, as have churches and anyone that is trying to get some certain information "out there".  that's lovely for the business world and to some extent for churches/ministries... in the case of individuals, i think it again boils down to the desire to be known; for someone to value what i have to say.  to "matter" in that sense and even contribute something to "humanity".  here's the problem with that last one though: "humanity" doesn't exist.  you will never have a conversation with humanity, never meet humanity and shake its hand, because there is no "humanity", there's only people.  which means that we're back to personal friendships. 

i see this truth in Jesus' life as well.  sure, there were times He preached to the masses and that's okay in ministry and effective to some extent, BUT most of His time was spent with 12 guys that He called His "friends".  Jesus was under no misconception that humanity could be changed on some ethereal, global level.  but He could and did pour out His heart into the lives of 12 specific men.  humanity can only be contributed to by contributing to real people.  Christ did not die for humanity, He died for all men, for each person, for me.  and that brings me back around to the first point: that all this pouring out of our hearts into the dark void of cyberspace is really reflective of our deep desire to be known and to matter to someone.  i love the lyrics of this song by don chaffer called the worst is my being alone about a conversation between two friends as they sit by the sea, and i think it nails this desire inherent in each of our hearts:
and the song ends out:

if only we really knew how we are known beyond all that we can hope for, how we matter to the God who created us, that we matter to death for Him.  that He is the One who desires to listen to our hearts and answer in kind.  that beyond the faint hints in the ocean's waves and sunsets and thunderstorms that He is calling our names, and that He calls us friends, beloved.  we are completely known by Him who is. (see Psalm 139)

well, i suppose i'll end my rambling thoughts.  i'm interested to hear people's opinions on all this (all 3 of you who read this blog, ha!).  don't worry, i won't judge you for posting a comment (as long as you don't judge me for blogging :).

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