I haven't updated my blog in a while, but I didn't really need to. Things improved for me. I finally got things going for myself. I put myself through therapy and it really helped. Craig moved away and I had to come to terms with the fact that trying to have a relationship while living here around my family just wasn't a good idea. I get lonely every now and then, but that's normal. I was lonely today, too. I was watching The Object of My Affection on TV. I rarely watch movies alone, especially, but it was one I could relate to somewhat. Anyway, I finally have something to look forward to. I have felt so emotionally bland here at home, but now I have grad school to look forward to. I applied to 10 schools and got in to half the schools I applied to. It wasn't too bad for me considering I had never been through the process before - I got in to undergrad on a fluke really after my private music teacher helped me get in. I am going to try to move to Boston for grad school. I also managed to get some insurance for myself temporarily. I've been keeping healthy. I got tested for STDs/HIV in December and all the tests came back negative. I haven't been seeing anyone. I've been really good about keeping track of my health the best I can. I don't really have any major friends here back at home right now - no one that I really would see often and discuss things, but it's been that way for a long time, so I'm not that depressed about it, but I know I'll improve that with a better situation. I just haven't felt at home here around my family. I am teaching more now. I have 10 students. That's a big improvement for me. I want to move and start doing community work, helping abused children and kids that deal with bullying. I want to be a good role-model for them. I know I'm not the best example out there of being successful, but I didn't give up on myself. I'm much more satisfied with myself than before. I don't really think about being lonely that often, but it's something I know I'll have to work on and make more friends soon. I'm just ready to move. I don't feel at home here around the pressures of my family. I know there will always be pressures associated with life and moving won't solve/change normal problems, but I need a breath of fresh air. I don't feel complete here.
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