Hey all!
I'm back!!!
Since I know my fan base is so distraught at my lack of posting, I thought it was time to get back on and do something.
News:
For those of you who don't know...most of you probably do...I am now in Air Force ROTC (reserve officer training corps). Pretty much...I am in the Air Force. When I graduate from school in 3 years, I will most likely be a Second Lieutenant. I travel up to Cornell University for my Air and Space classes every Thursday and I am there pretty much all day. I will probably also be heading up on Tuesday nights for Drill Team/ Color Guard practices (and infrequently on Sundays when I am required to be there...such as this past Sunday and the coming Sunday).
Other than that, not much going on...
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For my devotions this morning, (immediately after my extremely early workout with the Army) I was reading the book, "Relationships: a Mess Worth Making" by Tim Lane and Paul Tripp. The book is intended to show you how you live your life to have a godly relationship with all people. Many people probably grab this book off the shelf because it looks like another good book about courting or dating. When I grabbed it, one of the first things that struck me was that it was NOT another book about that. It is for all relationships. With your parents, spouse, brothers, sisters, friends, co-workers, and extended family. From what I have read so far, I would highly recommend this book.
Anyway, from what I was reading this morning, I came up with a few questions to evaluate myself and I thought that they would be appropriate to list for you to consider. They deal with the issue of what you desire and tend to get out of relationships.
So here they are:
In a relationship...
-Do you want someone to make you happy?
-Do you
expect to be served?
-Do you demand/ expect respect and do you think that you are only respected or loved when another person does something you like or desire?
-Do you seek identity from your relationships with others?
-Do you define your life based on the Bible or based on another person you want to like or enjoy you?
-(The opposite of the previous) Are you the kind of person that only hangs out or likes people who do things that are fun or comfortable?
And these are for the singles and other young adults
-Would you "fall in love" because something about a person makes you happy or comfortable?
~For this last one...
I do not want to imply by this question that if you are happy or comfortable around people that you can't love them. What I mean by this question is to ask whether you would only fall in love because they are good looking, strong, attentive to what you want, etc...
Again, none of these things are bad things, but if they are what you expect out of a relationship...you will be disappointed!
Here is a quote from the book to illustrate better what I am saying here:
"When we live out of a sense of who we are
in Christ, we live our lives based on all we have been given
by Christ. This keeps us from seeking to get those things from the people and situations around us. This is why there are so many identity statements in the New Testament. (Col. 1:21-23; 1 Pet. 2:9-12; 1 Jn. 3:1-3; Eph. 1-3; Heb. 10:19-25). Much of the disappointment and heartache we experience is the result of our attempts to get something from relationships that we already have in Christ. In almost thirty years of counseling, I have talked with countless women in difficult marriages who said, 'All I ever wanted was for my husband to make me happy.' My first thought is, invariably,
Well, then, he's cooked."
Final question:
Are you patient enough to wait on God for strong relationships or do you force it to happen?
Hopefully this is useful for some or all of you. I know for me it helped me see some areas that I need be evaluating myself on more often. Please post your questions and comments... if you feel that the questions are helpful, I want to know. If you feel that some are pointless or not useful, I also want to know. If you think you have another good question, post a comment so others can see it and so that I can add it to my own list.
Your bro in Christ!
~Schwa
~~~ ><> ~~~
Comments (4)
I think that, alot of times, those sorts of things are on our minds/in the back of our minds, even if we aren't directly thinking about them. Like sometimes we can start losing attention when someone is talking to us if we don't feel that WE are getting anything out of that conversation etc.
"Much of the disappointment and heartache we experience is the result of our attempts to get something from relationships that we already have in Christ."
I thought that was a VERY good quote. And very true. (In context of wanting marriage somday,)So often I am tempted to think stuff like, "Oh, I want a guy who'll love me (uh...God sent His ONLY Son to DIE for my sins...if THAT isn't true love, what IS?!), who'll provide for me (from Mt. 6: "See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today, and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith?"), and who'll protect me (from Ps. 23 vs. 4: "Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for Thou art with me.")...well - God is pretty much my all-in-all! However, I do know that, "Two are better than one, because together they can work more effectively. If one of them falls down, the other can help him up, but if someone is alone and falls, it's just too bad, because there is no one to help him." - Ecclesiastes 4:9-10...so now it's just my job to wait on God in that area.
Anyway...I tend to ramble a bit in comments...hence being dubbed by several sources as the LONGEST comment-leaver EVER (some people LIKE long comments...and some don't...)- which I consider rather an honor. But, I'm not yet done:
"Final question:
Are you patient enough to wait on God for strong relationships or do you force it to happen?"
Another very good and thought provoking question! I'm not the type of person who's any good at FORCING any kind of relationship - so I don't usually - but often it is almost tempting and just thinking about it sometimes is a stumbling block of sorts. Like I'll think "what can I do to make this person like me better, or notice me, or want to hang out with me" ...or whatever comes to mind at the moment. Then I have to just stop and remeber that GOD has placed me where I am right now, and He surely has control over my relationships - both guy and girl. And I just have to obey Him, and trust... (Can you tell God's been working on me in the area of TRUST lately? lol!)
And, I must say, so far, His ways have been SOOOO much higher than mine!
:)
~Lady Tai