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Monday, October 13, 2008

  • Rendezvous

    As the sky is dark and sparkling with stars
    You come to me in my dreams
    So real, so magical~
    The only escape I find is with you
    Soon the sun rises, in luminous colours
    Reminding me of your brilliance
    And how you shine in the darkness

  • I wish for a confidante-

    I'm not quite sure what to say anymore. My thoughts won't form words. I'm incredibly overwhelmed with doubt and insecurity but never quite know how express myself. Even so, who would I talk to? I don't know of a single person who would be able to sympathize.

    Blah.

Saturday, October 11, 2008

  • :)<3

    The trip to Sturnbridge was nice. We had fun.

    -----

    I'm just so fucked right now.
    The only things I need is painkillers and a cold shower.
    Your reassuring words and voice in my heart, put on repeat~
    My head is so messed right now.

    Someday I may disappear like the beautiful haze hiding in the distance.

Tuesday, October 07, 2008

  • trulydeeply.

    The conversation we had at 2 in the morning was so very intense, and made me come to such a realization.

    My god. I am so hating my high sex drive right now, my hormones suck unbelievably. I decided to talk to Dak about it cos I feel like I can go to him for anything and he wouldn't judge me. So yea, I do trust him a lot. He tells me that there isn't much I can do, but maybe in a few years I can find myself a nice mate and then develop some physical intimacy. Until then, he advises me to "explore" my own body before getting comfortable with anyone else.
    This isn't cutting it for me. I just want to be so close to him. This is killing me. D:

    -dies-

    Oh yea, that wasn't the amazing thought-provoking conversation we had yesterday, but ha.. it's too complicated to explain right now. It's most definitely inspired a change within me, though.

Monday, October 06, 2008

  • [blahblah]

    Omfgs. I need to talk to Jered. :(
    These aren't just things I can talk about with anyone, although he's just never online when I am. Or I never get on MSN. Either way, it sucks.

    During my Research class, I felt awful. I asked to be excused to the bathroom. In the bathroom, there was one other girl there. That was ok, I supposed, cos I don't fucking care what this girl might think. SO.. I was walking toward the stall when [STOP] the door opens again and the fucking guidance counselor walks in! "Damn!" I thought. Oh my god, what awful timing.
    I say a perky "hello" and lock the stall, waiting for her to leave. I'm not sure if she's left or what, so I wash my hands and go.

    She catches me in the hallway as I was on my way back to Research. She asks me how I'm doing. I smile and say I'm ok. Perfectly wonderful. I give her the right answer, so she leaves me alone.

    The Asian Cultural Club met after school. Elections were held today. A lot of the members didn't show up because they had to catch the bus which left early today. Last week I said that I wanted to run for secretary, but I hadn't prepared a speech today. Fortunately we didn't have to give speeches-- people voted for me anyway~ So yea, I won the election, lovely.

    And.. it feels as if I'm living a shallow life. It feels so unreal. Like a game, where I'm watching from the outside. Hah.

    Oh, I want to learn to sing. It's something I haven't been taught to do, and right now my mum wants me to focus on the violin, but after being reminded of why I dislike it so much.. I want some change. Good change.

journalofsparkles

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    • Name: Sylvie
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    • Member Since: 11/12/2007

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