Tuesday, May 13, 2008

• "I'm feeling rough, I'm feeling raw, I'm in the prime of my life"

  

  Does everyone remember this shot? It makes me feel so hopeful and I don't know why. Today I didn't do a lot of things I was meant to- I didn't work out enough, revise enough or call people I was supposed to call. I simply sat and read most of the day, wasting my own life to join the life of characters on paper, people whos lives seemed to be set straight by page 405. Wouldn't it be lovely if we knew we had a perfect, cliched ending waiting for us?

  I cannot wait to clear my head of all these mindless facts and figures I need for the 13 exams that will define the next month of my life. I cannot wait to focus solely on having fun, and becoming perfect.

  I weighed myself yesterday and I was 113 lbs. It could have been worse, but I find I have reached a never ending plateau in my weight, and no matter how little I eat, I stay between 114 and 113. If things don't change by thursday something will have to be done.

  I apologise for this spacey, disconnected post, but I'm feeling quite strange today. It is as though I am living someone else's life, a life I am not used to and it scares me.

  xx

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