So.
Lizard continues adventuring into this brave new world by seeking out activities to share with the Once And Future Spouse. Now, it is true that, in the past, I've asked Beth to endure certain things which might not have been her prime number one choice for leisure time activities -- The episode of
Dr. Who where he fought Wyatt Earp, for example, or the
Boron Museum. Payback, as they say, is a bitch.
Lizard went
stamping.
Contrary to my original thoughts, this did not involve heavy boots and cockroaches. No, this involved the manufacture of cards I will never send to people via the application of stamps to paper, along with an astonishing assortment of specialized tools and devices. The evening required the assemblage of no less than seven cards, each using different techniques in various combinations.
Crafting is not Lizard's skill. I have what the
Robot Devil calls "Stupid hands". I can not only not draw a straight line (unless I am trying to draw a curved one), I cannot fold paper, tape things together, or, it seems, get a stamp to ink properly and evenly. The evening was, thus, a throwback to 1st grade art class in that my attempts to make credible imitations of the work of the instructor produced nothing but ill-assembled failures.
Did I mention this all took place in the basement of a woman who is, I think, the Platonic Ideal of the Midwestern Housewife? I swear, if aliens or time travelers showed up and said "Tell us of this 'Midwestern Lifestyle', I would dump them at her house and just let it go from there. Lizard was extraordinarily polite and patient, remembering that there are rules and obligations when one is a guest in someone else's home. Lizard said nothing when she informed us that God moves dangerous weather formations around schools (unless, you know, they're in New Orleans or something. God evidently hates New Orleans. And trailer parks.). Lizard has learned the fine art of smiling and nodding.
So. Stamping.
Stamping is primarily performed by women in denim. I learned this in Las Vegas, when one of our trips out there coincided with a stamping convention. However, this observation is on par with 'Gaming is performed by seriously over- or under- weight people wearing too much black'. To truly understand, you must go deeper.
Actually, it reminds me a lot of wargaming, esp. the
Games Workshop 'Drop trou and grab ankles' school of marketing. Apparently, the stamp companies issue stamps for limited periods of time, after which they are canceled. The lady who ran the stamping session encouraged us to order before they were discontinued. Once they are, she apparently discards or sells off hers, since she works as a salesperson and wants her clients to only use stamps they can buy through her. It all reminded me way too much of the constant upgrades and revisions to
Warhammer. "Oh, those are last year's Space Marines. You can't use them in this battle." Or, for that matter, Magic:The Gathering. "Sorry, dude...your
Black Lotus is banned."
It also reminded me a lot of programming. There are simple techniques (algorithms) which can be combined in different ways to form functional object. And, much like my programming, my cards were buggy and inadequate to the task at hand.
The selection of messages was also a bit limited, at least from a Lizardian perspective. I wonder if there's a market for gamer stamps? You can have D20s, elves, swords, Mountain Dew, and so on. Design invitations for your next game! Send condolences on a
TPK! Etc...
Beth still has my feeble attempts at cardmaking. Perhaps I will scan them in for general public mockery.
I wonder if 'Grindhouse' is still in theaters?
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