Monday, April 28, 2008

  • AngelTemps

    Well, in the latest 4e preview, we have angels. Other than being the standard 4e stripped-down-to-combat-only critters, their backstory is that they aren't created by gods, they are free agents who just WORK for gods, so that not one paragraph in the Monster Manual is "wasted" on creatures players aren't supposed to kill.

    The idea of angels as free agents leads, inexorably, to this...

    "OK, Bluggorth the Destroyer, Devourer Of Babies and Kittens, needs angels of vengeance, two of 'em, we got any Vengeance angels? Calling for vengeance angels..."

    "I'm a vengeance angel! Me! Me!"

    "OK, OK, settle down kid. Lemme see...you worked for Celestia, Goddess Of Light And Puppy Dogs, last month, right?"

    "Yes! You'll see she personally wrote 'Excellent performance -- would hire to smite unworthy again' on my report."

    "Yeah, yeah. But, uh, Bluggorth, he's going to be sending you after, uh, Lord Valour the Just, who apparently destroyed one of Bluggorth's cults last week. You, uhm, gonna have any problems with vengifying a paladin? 'Cause I don't want to deal with whines from Bluggorth, he's a prat."

    "No, no, I'll smite anyone, anywhere. It's all about the smiting for me. I'm a smiter!"

    "Sigh. Well, it's a rush order. I guess you'll do. His dominion is just past the nine hells, turn left at the corpse of the dead god, go pick up your assignment. And remember, you're on the clock, no overtime, so make it snappy."


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