Saturday, March 29, 2008

• Currently Listening Messenger [ENHANCED CD] By Edwin McCain Sign on the door see related

  I cant believe that its been a lil under 2 years since I've last written in here. It's kinda strange. I've gotten away from a lot of things that I love because they remind me of people I use to love and sometimes thos memories hurt and that's the best way to explain it. i'm dating an older guy and it's a good relationship, but when one of my boy's came down from MI to visit me here in AZ I realized that something was significantly missing. The easy going comraderly, me being so conmfortable with myself and the guy to tell him any and everything and never feel embrassed about my felings. It was like immediate with this guy and then everything came to a immediate halt due to the fact that we both made some assumptions and seriously hurt the other. Right before I moved outhere I actually saw him again and we started hanging out, but I had already brought me ticket and was on my way out here to AZ. We hadn't really spoken since I left and he was coming out here to get a car that he purchased and we just cjhilled. It was so relaxing, we have our disargreemendt, but then we laugh and that's that. Everything is so relaxed and just ... It's just is. I dont feel pressure to be something that I'm not. I know that I can never lie to him, no matter what I can't lie to him. I've tried and for the most part it ain't happening. I miss him and didn't realize how much until I saw him and.... well my heart didn' pittr patter but my whole inside smiled and I just ran to him and hugged him. He asked no questions, just hugged me until I stopped hugging him. It's overwhelming sometimes to the point of unbelievabilty. The ting is taht I've been dating a guy here and I dont feel that I can tell him something andI feel like he just sideswipes some of my concerns and when I tell him that they're serious to me and he doesnt think so, I fell ... well like it's whatever fom him. I just am just up in the air. The thing is that the guy from MI was an ex- bf and it was like that from day one, the ease and relaxation and ability to be near him. I dunno what to do,, but I'm oing out with my guy that I'm dating out here tonight and we;'ll just take it from there. Any advice anyone wants to impart would be greatly appreciated too. Oh and the weather out here is like mid-80s and I went swimming it was so hot today, lol. Enjoying the weather like it's no one else's business.

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