Monday, August 20, 2007

• MANILA SUSSUDIO-JONES

  Currently Listening Music and Lyrics see related

  I recently had lunch at a place in Granada Hills called Pick Up Stix, which is a chain of Chinese fast-food restaurants.  For those of you unfamiliar with this establishment, it’s kind of like Panda Express, except that the food is a bit fresher (supposedly) and more health-conscious (supposedly).   They also reheat your food (allegedly) in a frying pan (or wok, I guess) before they serve it to you.  I suppose this makes it a bit more authentic than Panda Express, but what do I know?  I’m not a “foodie”.   (By the way, I also officially hate the word “foodie”.)  The restaurants are also a bit trendier and more decorative than Panda Express, and they play rock music over their satellite radio feed.  When I walked in they were playing “Sussudio” by Phil Collins, which is a song that completely baffles me.  I don’t know what the hell a “sussudio” is (and neither does my word processor’s spell-check).  I’ve heard that it is a girl’s name, but I’m not buying that explanation.  I’m fairly certain that Mr. Collins made up that word while trying to say “studio” in a drunken stupor, and he somehow turned it into a romantic song.  I guess I don’t understand 1980s adult contemporary music, but I further don’t understand why I want to sing this song so much at my next karaoke party.  My emotions are nonsensical.  Hearing “Sussudio” in Pick Up Stix was a relief, though, considering that I was listening to “Big Girls Don’t Cry” by that loser Fergie in my car on the way to the restaurant.  I don’t know why I didn’t just change the radio station in my car; I suppose I’m addicted to pop music whether I like it or not.    I don’t know when it became cool to look like your face is melting, but for some reason or another she has a lot of fans.  That song makes me want to slice my ears off, though.

  Anyway, the two things I like to do during my lunch break are feed my stomach and eavesdrop on the conversations of people who have lives far more interesting than my own.  I was at Pick Up Stix eating their “House Chicken” (and by “House” I assume they mean “salty”) and thinking about my favorite words in the English language (which are, in order, “copacetic”, “clandestine”, and “synergy”) when I overheard a conversation in the booth next to me.   It was a group of 3 women, and it sounded like they may have been colleagues of mine.  The part of the conversation that piqued my interest was when the women were talking about changing their last names.  One of them was getting married in about a month or so.  She was planning on changing her last name when she got married, but she was adamant about keeping her maiden name for her professional career.  Her argument was that she wanted to honor her family because they supported her completely throughout her education.   Her two friends, who were apparently married, applauded her for being so honorable and “independent”.

  I suppose that this is an issue that comes up quite frequently in the professional world nowadays, and I’ve seen this happen on a few occasions among my colleagues.  More and more women are choosing to keep their maiden names professionally, and I can understand their reasons for doing so.  But the more this happens, the more it kind of pisses me off, and that’s why I kind of wanted to walk over to that booth and slap the girl in the face.

  If this girl really wanted to bring honor to her family, then she shouldn’t change her last name at all.  I don’t understand the concept of changing your last name for marriage, and I further don’t understand why it’s always the woman who changes her last name.  I suppose that the most popular argument for changing your last name is to create a more cohesive family unit, but that’s kind of stupid.  Considering that no child ever asked to be born, the only things a child is owed are a good parent and upbringing.  No one owes it to their child to give them a particular last name, and I’m quite certain that no newborn really cares what their last name is.    (My solution is to let the child pick their last name when he/she is eighteen.)  I suppose “tradition” is another argument, but that’s just lame, too.  Men who make their wives change their last name most likely have low self-esteem and are probably married for the wrong reasons.  I don’t care what kind of spin or reasoning you put on it, having someone change their last name for the sake of marriage just isn’t fair!  A woman (or a man) really has no reason to change her last name at all.  In fact, I can only think of two good reasons why anyone should change his/her last name:  (1) they committed a crime and (2) they think their current last name is lame.  (I mean, if someone’s last name is “Bobo”, I can understand changing it to something like “Stevens”, and if Mr. Bobo committed a felony and needed to go into hiding, then I suppose that would be more reason to change it.)  Women need to stop being pussies and start keeping their maiden names altogether, not just “professionally”.  Furthermore, men need to stop being barbaric and stop making women feel obligated to change their last names.

  I suppose I would change my last name if it was “Sussudio”, though.  Either way, it doesn’t make sense.

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