Wednesday, October 17, 2007

• Full of Grace

  I was reading Yoga Journal on the plane back from Los Angeles the other day.  After the wacky weekend (i.e., getting caught in the tornadoes on the way out of NYC, and getting caught in the pile up on I-5), I just needed to sit and read.  And Yoga Journal was on the bottom of the pile (underneath the Us Weekly, and the Ok!, and the worst of the worst...though I am still mourning the loss of the Weekly World News...).

  The thing that struck me, though, was that Yoga Journal had an article on lay-blessings.  I guess "lay-blessings" is the best term for what the article was describing.  The article was talking about the problem of doubting one's ability to bless others, regardless of one's religious or philosophical tradition, for fear of taking oneself too seriously, or appearing arrogant.  The article recounted the story of a yogini who was almost ashamed to bless pious pilgrims who came to her to ask for her blessings, until one day, realizing that it was her hesitation to bless that was egotistical; it was her reluctance to get her "self" out of the way of grace.  The article recounted another story of a Catholic pilgrim who went to a sacred site in Mexico, who, while praying at a site in Mexico, was approached by a local woman and was asked to bless her rosary.  He was so taken by the moment that he blessed it, and her, without hesitation.

  I think that we are all channels for grace.  Once the ego is out of the way, there is so much room to be just filled full of grace, and I am so taken by the experience of fully experiencing grace.

  One thing I am finding, in these new experiences I am having lately, is that I am becoming okay with asking for what I want.  For asking for time, for asking for help, for asking for the simple things and the simple moments, and giving and getting the simple everyday blessings that I used to miss.

   

  For example, last Thursday night/Friday morning, we went straight from the airport to Shay's house, where we found that neither our cellphones, nor the gate intercom worked.  When we finally got inside, it was like heaven.  After the last few months of chaos in my life, finally, I was home.  You may remember, Shay’s life imploded almost two years ago when her house burned down and she lost everything.  I just needed to spend some time with her, so I asked if we could stay with them, which is the sort of request I've never posed before.  Shay has this lovely apartment with her man, Phil, and it’s a perfect space.  It’s filled with antique furniture, and musical instruments, and big mugs full of blueberry tea.  When we got there at 2:00 in the morning, she had cooked us rice filled with vegetables and made us salads, and put a big fresh bowl of cold grapes on the table, and I wanted to cry with happiness at the perfection of it all.  If I could take a snapshot in time of what perfect love was, it would be that.  Perfect, wholesome, happy, comfortable love.  A perfect, happy home, with two, perfect, happy, cats, and food always on the stove, and music, and laughter, and love.

  “Our house, is a very very very fine house, with two cats in the yard, life used to be so hard, now everything is easy because of you…”

  I don't know if I even have the right words to describe the experience of asking for an everyday blessing and receiving.  The joy I am experiencing now is beyond compare. 

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