you gas...it smells like petuniasit looks like the essence of blog is not original to our 21st century world. i finished reading a biography on the life of benjamin franklin and come to believe that he was far ahead of the blogosphere. franklin was a printer with an acclaimed recognition of being the best writer in the colonial united states. poor richard's almanac, a publication of maxims for social and economic advancement, was the beginning of this trendy move to print and publish an enormous amount of propaganda, scientific intrigue, and general social thought. and so when franklin retired in his early forties from a full time job as a printer and postmaster the vacuum of time created spurred on new experimentation and lifelong travels.
this is where flatulation comes in; gas, to those of us less impressed by high society verbage.
around 1779 benji was sitting around his paris estate, on official diplomatic duty, when a notorious proposal was penned. franklin, in all seriousness, felt strongly that the odious nature of a soldier could eventually set fire to uncontrollable company debilitation. i will post his entire proposal just because it's that funny. let me reiterate here that franklin is very serious:
"it is universally well known that in digesting our common food, there is created or produced in the bowels of human creatures a great quantity of wind. that the permitting this air to escape and mix with the atmosphere is usually offensive to the company from the fetid smell that accompanies it. that all well-bred people therefore, to avoid giving such offense forcibly restrain the efforts of nature to discharge that wind. that so retained contrary to nature, it not only gives frequently great present pain, but occasions future diseases..."
"were it not for the odiously offensive smell accompanying such escapes, polite people would be under no more restraint in discharging such wind in company than they are in spitting or in blowing their noses. my prize question therefore should be, to discover some drug wholesome and not disagreeable, to be mixed with our common food or sauces, that shall render the natural discharges of wind from our bodies, not only inoffensive, but agreeable as perfumes."
walter issacson, the author of this book, went on to state that franklin "proceeded to explain how different food and minerals change the odor of farts. might not a mineral such as lime work to make the smell more pleasant?" in addition, franklin continued to note how unhelpful aristotle and newton were in such experimentation (go figure) of vital fartal importance: "what comfort can the vortices of decartes give to a man who has wirlwinds in his bowls!" [a quote of franklin].
now mock all you want but the uncontrollable flatulents among us are as self-conscience as those with smelly feet in the winter. and if we're honest, we've all got our unexpected predicaments. the last instance of personal taboo came when tracy and i were visiting a church in the upper eastern region of new york. coming off of what must have been anti-lime produce, i had the dreaded silent, but extremely violent, wind passage. unbeknownst to tracy there were great moments of distress when we first arrived at the service itself, corresponding to the introduction of a older lady from the church. assuming the smell matched the introduction, a misunderstanding ensued. when the truth came out later as i confided my problem with tracy, there was instant remorse for silent fartal accusations.
as for franklin, such experimentation was never tested, and in my personal experience no such mineral supplement has ever moved me to ask another, "hmm, could you pass that again? i've never smelt such blissful flatulation!"
maybe "poor" richard was metaphoric rather than economic? | 
