Happy birthday, i miss you more then anything.

Dazed and Confused

Why is it when you'r nice to someone they walk all over you and treat you like shit, shouldnt they treat you with the same respect as you give them but now for some of my friends its like they like doing it making me feel like shit, along with my boyfrined hes not doing a good job at puting a smile on my face at the moment no one is. Its fucking summer and i should be haveing fun no fights no drama nothing, it also doesnt help that i want to talk to my ex best friend both of them why i have no fucking clue i wsih someone would tell me how im feeling or what to do with myself because i have no clue were to start or what to do. I just want to be happy and its really hard for me but for everyone else it comes easy there happy good greads great friends( who dont treat them like shit ). Im tired of being just content with myself i want to love myself and love my body and everything about me i want have real smiles people i can trust be me again, but i dont even know who that is i say that alot but its true, who am i?

Sticks and stones

I know its not a time right now for me to wish this but i wish i were dead. It feels like i shouldnt even be alive anymore or i should have never been born i have no one to talk, my best friend hates or thinks im a bitch and i dont even know what i did i cant even talk to my other best friend about it because she doesnt want to hear it nor does she care as she said. I dont even know what to do anymore i hate myself im ugly fat no one likes me im a fuck up i could never do anything right by next week the only thing i will have is a boyfriend maybe not even. I just dont get how i could try and be such a good friend to my friends and all they do is get mad at me im never good enough. I honestly wish to die that would make its easyer for everyone even me i wont have to wake up every morning and make sure everyone around me is happy or making sure no one feelings get hurt. even if i ran away it would be the same as dying because no one would notice if i were here or not im a gost to everyone, all my friends to is walk all over me and i take it so they do even more, Yea it would be better if i died ask anyone.