Wednesday, April 30, 2008
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High Expectations
Lemme talk to you about pressure. Pressure is having to live up to expectations set by others and, once meeting those expectations, having more expectations placed upon oneself. It's that feeling of uneasiness due to the need to succeed. We all want to succeed...but with success comes pressure. Even when you get to the top, there are those expectations to stay at the top. Pressure is always going to be present in life, no matter what path or direction you choose to take. We just have to learn to adapt and maybe even thrive under that.
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MCMLXXXV
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You know what sucks? Growing up around people that are successful. Ok, that might not sound like it sucks. But all my life, I've been surrounded by people that have been successful financially, socially, and academically that it's usually been expected of me to follow suit. Same could probably be said about most Asian kids. Difference with me is I usually didn't give a damn about what other people expected of me. I usually just did what I felt I needed to do, regardless of what others wanted me to do. Sometimes, things would turn out fine but other times I kind of wish I were a better listener/follower. For example, I couldn't stand piano. But looking back at it, that would have been a pretty dope skill to have, you know? I could have been just like my grandpa and played piano in front of thousands. But nah, I was too stubborn. There's that old saying, "Parents always know best", and I guess, to a degree, that might be true. But call me a rebel or whatever you want, but this is my life. I feel like I've been raised with good enough judgment to know what's right and what's wrong to make my own decisions. I don't want to be told what I should be doing with my life, which direction I should take, or who I should be talking to. I'll be good, don't worry about me.
Still, so many people find the need to tell me what I should be doing with my life. Go to grad school, go to med school, get that money, do whatever. But I can tell everybody right now that whatever it is I'm gonna do with my life, it's most probably going to be way different from what you want for me. Whatever it is I do with my life, I want it to have meaning. This life is so temporary, man. I mean, I could definitely go to med school for ten years, be set for life, have those cars, those houses. But really, where's the meaning in that? Why should I go through all that trouble to live a life of luxury? I've never lived a luxurious life and, yo lemme tell you, my life has been so good thus far. I don't need excess money and material things to show off to the neighbors. I understand why so many people would want this for me, but again, it's not exactly what I want for me. Life is so short....I might as well do something meaningful while I'm here.
I respect everyone's opinion...shoot, I'm even grateful that all of you care so much. But with all the pressures that are already present in my life, I honestly don't need any more added through the people I love. Don't get me wrong though, I love all my friends and family. It's just that pressure...it gets to you every now and then.
Goooodnight, Xanga....didn't mean to make this an angry post if that's what it came off as haha.
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Comments (7)
Last summer, I went to a grad/med/law school panel organized by my scholarship. All of the panelists said that within a year, you can see who in the grad/med/law school is on the program for money, and who is actually doing it because they love the occupation.Â
Life is too, too short to not be doing what you enjoy.
This isn't an angry post. Haha, I think my professor would say that this is a "critical" post ^-^
Yeah I feel the heat from my parents as far as being pressured to follow a prestigious or good-paying occupation like doctor, nurse, etc. I'm Filipino too, I think most Filipino parents are like that. Funny that you mention the part about piano lessons cause my Mom automatically enrolled me in lessons when I was like 5. I didn't stick with it, but I know how to read music and I guess I can play most of the easy pieces I was introduced to :D
I agree with you like a hundred and million one percent. I'm so sick of doing everything that everyone wants me to do, sick of living in my brother's shadow. Can't forget how he laughed at me for scoring 2 marks lesser than him during my Primary School Leaving Examinations. He's good in Science, maybe that's why I try to seek solace in Humanities and Arts. That was the beginning of a diverse path. I refuse to go to any school he went. Subconsciously, I just don't want to be compared to anyone. Hello, it's me. Not Tom, Dick or Harry.
I feel you. I hate when people tell me what to do...and what is worse, I do what they tell me to do. Pah.
As odd as it may sound, some people like pressure. If you're not on the edge of failure, then you're not being sufficiently challenged. Just do youuuuuu my man!
Mikko, you're funny. This comment doesn't really have anything to do with this post, although you have good points. But i just spent the last hour or so reading your xanga (instead of doing homework... WOMP!) and I thoroughly enjoyed it... just saying.
But man, where've you been? I feel like i haven't seen you in foreeeever. (was maryland really the last time?? holy crap.) this should change. i think it will anyway... now that there's barely a week left in the semester (woooot.)
summertime... and the livin is easy... :)
amen.
I'm so used to disappointing people so much right now that I'm at a point where I'm like, eff it, I'm doing me. haha.
And what exactly defines success anyway? The term is too broad. But I can tell you that, to me, success = happiness, if I don't have that, I wouldn't consider myself, or anyone else for that matter, successful.