It's hard realizing, but even more so admitting when you're the weak one who is in dire and desperate need of assistance. When you have your own battles to fight and demons to face. For me, depression, self-image, self-worth, and the will to survive are all difficult, debilitating, and sometimes dehumanizing, although they are some of the most human issues anyone can face. But the humanity can be restored in the mere act of admitting that one faces them. I had to come to that point this afternoon, and felt that I nearly lost a dear friend in the process of my own stupidity and stubbornness acting itself out. But after a talk with someone else placed in my life for her own reason, I was able to admit that I still need help, and sometimes some pretty intense, serious help. It gets tiring putting on the guise that everything is alright, that I'm stable, when in reality everything feels like it's crashing down and turning to ashes. I realized that therapy is still necessary in my case, and that, even more difficult to admit, it may one day again come to hospitalization. That medication is not the bane of my existence. That I really am not alone. I know that some of this comes as no shock to some of you, or may come as a surprise to others, but I'm pretty fallen. And like others, I'm not perfect, and I'm not strong, but maybe one day that will all fall into place. Not perfection, but at least strength. And when it does, hopefully you will be the one to see the difference. Please let me know when you do... but until then, bear with me. Stay close, and in those times when I am the strong one, know that I will be there to offer some of my strength to you. Lean on me, and I'll be as stable as I can for your sake. You're loved... always know that.
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