Weblog » Archives » June 2004

  • Good news today. One of my favorite tenants, Ameenah, got aid from the state to pay for her back rent and rent for the month of July. So $3,365.00 that she couldn't afford is being paid for her. I know I bitch a lot a…

  • Can't. Breathe. Too. Stressed. Everyone I see today is sloppy and unnattractive. Hi, if your back resembles a package of hotdogs, here's what you do: Get a better fitting bra and a looser T-shirt. Do NOT attempt to wear…

  • R is coming for a visit this Wednsday! In other news, I am quickly heading towards heart failure due to work stress. Computers are slow, processor is useless, work is piling on my desk. Nearly hysterical, with mounting…

  • http://homokaasu.org/gematriculator/

  • As long as you don't look at the meat filling of a Taco Bell soft shell taco, everything will be okay. But if your eyes wander in curiosity towards the center of what you are eating, dismal woe shall befall you.

  • My ideal eviction letter: Dear Deadbeat Loser, You are like, so fucking evicted. Get your piddly belongings together and get the fuck out, you ghetto piece of shit. Fuck you muchly, The Landlord (aka YOUR GOD)

  • Jungle fruit gives women curves A fruit from the Amazon jungle is said to have become popular with Peruvian women seeking curvier figures. The tropical fruit called the Aguaje, is said to have a huge quantity of …

  • This van is cool. A "Dark Crystal" van would be cooler.

  • Dreams and Prophesyor: "Simultaneous Sheizer" Last night I dreamt that my friend Lara and I had simultaneous bowel movements. Like a German art film, there were dual scenes of me grinding one out, and of Lara dropping a…

  • Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you underneath. At night, the ice weasels come. Matt Groening

  • I am manic with joy after eating garlic and pepperoni pizza. Seriously, I'm zinging around, singing show tunes manic.

  • Boobs, good. Ah, that made my day.

  • I'm going swimming in my friend's pool today! I haven't swum (swam? swimmed?) in literally years. My friend assures me that she has flotation devices, so I need move as little as possible. I even found my old bikini! Sad…

  • If wishes were nickels the ocean'd be dry.

  • Is ennui an appropriate reason to not go to work? No? Then I'm fucked.

  • I watched Moon Child last night. The movie stars Gackt as Sho, an orphan who grows up to become a gangster. Here is a picture of Gackt. Oh no, Mr. Scary Gangster, don't hurt me! All kidding aside, Gackt is beauti…

  • RAGING FANGIRL STRIKES AGAIN!!!I am so in love with Wang Lee Hom

  • Kim Unveils a Painful/Kitschy/Engrish Memory: Bizarro Superman says: when we lived in korea Bizarro Superman says: my mom in one of her nice moments bought me a simpsons t-shirt Bizarro Superman says: as i was a huge …

  • I have been MIA. A friend of mine passed away last week, and all I've wanted to write about has been her, but nothing I feel like writing seems to do her life justice. So I'm not going to write about her at the moment, u…

  • Good lord, I'm full. Late lunch of Taco Bell. Three tacos, yo.

  • Kimchi Hamburgerby rice crackerI am a hamburgerMeat burntOn a bunI am plainBut ubiquitousLook closerSomething differentInstead of lettuce there is kimchiHow uniqueHow strangeYou won't see that on any menuWould you eatSuc…

  • I am totally ready to kill the world. PMS + work + car issues + every other little goddamn thing = youbettertreadcarefullymotherfuckeri'llcutyou. I'm confused. People are calling me to ask about a rental property that i…

  • The hell that is my office: I experience this every day. In addition to the guy that pees on toilet seats (still at large!) and the guy that leaves his pee in the toilet (also still at large!).

  • Stephen King Movies Stephen King movies have two ratings: Sucked and Rocked. Here is my list of Stephen King movies I feel either Sucked or Rocked. Or N/A, if I haven't seen them yet, or formed an opinion based on rumo…

  • Last night I had a dream that it was just too much trouble to get up and go to the bathroom to relieve myself. So I would just pee wherever I happened to be. And pee. And pee. I woke up at 7:00 in the morning. My first …

  • Dear Everyone: I'm sorry I find you so annoying. Now fuck off. Flipping you off-ly, Kim JK, that's not a real letter to everyone. But that would be an intense and hilarious (to the sender) letter to give to someo…

  • I take back what I said about the new roommate. He did the dishes, even though it's my dish day. And he has a super fancy bicycle. Even though that normally means nothing to me whatsoever, this bike is so cool I actually…

  • We have a new roommate. I forgot his name. He's short and has pink spiky hair. I don't like him.

  • To anyone who is interested, I have quietly fired my new chiropracter. Am now looking into some other chiropractic avenues. I just couldn't take another torture session and risk paralysis. Other news: I have two more Du…

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