Weblog » Archives » July 2004

  • Kim's Theatre de Cri pour l'Aide Hapa Smurf: Lord of the Pants says: *is cutting self with razor blades* Hapa Smurf: Lord of the Pants says: *because it hurts too much on the inside* Lara Mosher, Alien Priestess says:…

  • How fast do you read? http://mindbluff.com/askread.htm I read somewhere around 400-450 words per minute.

  • Boba overdose. One strawberry bubble tea at dinner, and a honeydew slush boba for dessert while F. signed a lease. Upon signing, I uttered a loud, "MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" My friend Lara told me she could practically see …

  • Only four more boxes of stored crap to sort through. Purging is going well, I have about three boxes of stuff to give away, and a bag of stuff so wretched they must go to Goodwill. R. is doing a terrific job scouting f…

  • The horror.... My roommate just came into my room to let me know that she took a gulp of some Gatorade she thought was left over from yesterday, only to find out, after it was in her mouth, that it was moldy. Then she p…

  • Hapa Smurf: Lord of the Pants says: ok Hapa Smurf: Lord of the Pants says: you do the dishes then Hapa Smurf: Lord of the Pants says: always Hapa Smurf: Lord of the Pants says: and forever Hapa Smurf: Lord of the Pan…

  • There is no running water in the building. I have to take a shit. Dilemma.

  • Theatre de Pissed Off Old Man & Two Teenage Girls ME: *is smoking* GIANT PICKUP TRUCK: *is stopped in the middle of the road, at a sharp angle* FORD FOCUS: *is behind the truck, two indignant teenage girls trapped…

  • Kim's Theatre de Scared Shitless Hapa Smurf: Lord of the Pants says: i have the worst feeling of foreboding Lara Mosher, Alien Priestess says: no. . .no foreboding. . .don't let it take root Hapa Smurf: Lord of the Pa…

  • What the fuck is this shit? http://www.ucomics.com/tedrall/2004/07/05/ Um, when did it become appropriate for a white cartoonist to refer to a black politician as Bush's "house nigga?" Sorry, it might have worked in "Ba…

  • After a rough day, I come home, intending to just drop my purse off in my room and go down and reheat the lamb vindaloo from yesterday, when I espied upon my window FLIES! FLIES! FLIES! FLIES! FLIES! A SCORE OF HORRIBLE,…

  • Because you care, I shall reenact the following annoying experience. ME: *is smoking outside, in a vain effort to relax* LEXUS: *pulls up to the curb, shinily* 1st BLONDE WOMAN: *exits car* 2nd BLOND WOMAN walking do…

  • Apologies for yet another moving related entry. So, now R. is getting nervous about the move. I, taking heart in his laid back attitude, had begun to relax a bit. Allowed myself to believe that it was going to be ok. No…

  • I had the most bizarre dream. I dreamed that my boyfriend (some guy who wasn't R.) was this half tree, half human hybrid. And I had to fight a bad guy as well as deal with all the drama that comes as a result of inter-sp…

  • My nerves are shot. I feel like vomiting, constantly. Work is hell. Am barely surviving. Beer helps, but is only temporary. Desperation has set in. Fear, loathing are not far away. All hope. Is lost.

  • Holy freaking shit. I'm going to be moving in a month and a half. Now we cue the panic and anxiety attacks to occur thrice daily until I am safely settled in Washington, DC. So far I am on schedule. I have had three anx…

  • A quiz for you! My roommate's bedroom smells like: A) Freshly mown grassB) Sun warmed rose petalsC) Spoiled milk, unwashed bodies, even more unwashed sheets, misery, doom, corruption and three large never bathed dogs a…

  • In lieu of content, I bring you more quiz results. 20 Questions to a Better Personality Wackiness: 60/100Rationality: 30/100Constructiveness: 70/100Leadership: 50/100 You are a WECF--Wacky Emotional Const…

  • I have decided that if I want to read anything worthwhile on the web, I'd better write it myself. So, that's never going to happen.

  • I live in the best neighborhood. Not. Today driving home from dinner with the awesome B., I had to swerve to avoid crashing into a drunk bicyclist take a wiiiiiiiide right turn. A Drunk. Bicyclist. How on earth did I k…

  • Bowl Noodle, I have thwarted thee in thine attempts to soil my raiment! For I, being of quick mind, doth thought ahead to cover mine pure white tunic with a piece of common paper toweling. Wretched are ye, and defeated!

  • I guess it is quiz day in Kimville. I must say, I like the outcome of this quiz much better than that lamer screen siren dealy.

  • I am absolved of all sins. I have cleaned the communal bathroom.

  • Must. See. This. Film. http://kungphooey.com/ Super Hilarious Trailer of Death: http://kungphooey.com/kungphooey_stuff.htm Excerpt on this film from angryasianman.com: Darryl Fong's martial arts spoof Kung Phooey! c…

  • Potty train your cats, it's fun and easy! See? This feline loves the porcelain throne! IMPORTANT! Make sure to teach your cat how to wipe.

  • WTF, who? Which Silver Screen Siren are you? Some dumb quiz by quizilla and the code they tell you to copy and paste never works for me.

  • Oh my god! Yesterday I overdosed on kimchi chigae and various types of mochi, then had a ton of popcorn for dessert. Today I've eaten the weight of a small Ugandan child in Taco Bell tacos. The crap I just took...was st…

  • Kim's Théâtre des Riches Contre des Pauvres. Heartless Landlord in the Process of Evicting Destitute War Widows says: Hoy, hoy, my pretty! Heartless Landlord in the Process of Evicting Destitute War Widows says: Where…

  • Mochimochi MO-O-O-Ochi. Yum. Now I have a tummy ache from eating too much dairy. Last night B and I went out for drinks at our old usual bar, and between us split three pitchers, sharing a fourth with a latecoming fr…

  • I forgot to mention some good news today. I mailed an eviction letter to this bitchy tenant I can't stand. It almost felt like I was doing it out of spite, that's how much pleasure I took from mailing that letter. A…

  • I hate the way strangers smell. I catch myself holding my breath in crowds of people so I won't have to smell them. Even walking by someone I don't know, if they are closer than three feet away, makes me hold my breath…

  • The Krispy Kreme Donut Monologues Hello there, I'm Krispy Kreme. Sometimes folks call me Kris for short. Well, they would if they didn't inhale me upon first glance. I don't blame them for devouring me without so much…

  • R. went back to DC today. Post love-fest melancholy aside, we had a terrific time together, as usual. Nothing flashy or dangerous, we just hung out, constantly, and amazingly did not have one even slightly more than m…

  • I'm eating pineapple frozen yogurt in a little shop in Minneapolis. Most businesses are closed in deference to the holiday. Especially Korean restaurants. But interestingly, not American ones. Seems like Korean immigrant…

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