the most refreshing moment yet was when the sun came out and i was drinking chocolate coffee and listening to sufjan for the first time.

it was love. oh, was it love.

Introduction: People watching is an art mastered by few, but once mastered, amusement is yours to be had.

Preparations:

First, you must make sure you are not a conspicuous looking person. Leave the bling at home. (The same goes for the platforms, goth attire, wild hairdos, and especially cute children. Cute children always draw attention.) Appropriate attire is generally of the jeans and t-shirt variety. Don't look too cute. You're watching people, not attracting them like a bird to a juicy worm.

Second, find a good corner to sit in. Corners are the best for people watching since people generally do not glance into corners when they are preoccupied with "OhmygoshIthinkhejustlookedatmeSQUEAL."

Third, have patience. The specimen will come to you, but they are leery of watchful eyes and it may take them a little time to relax and feel they are in their natural environment. Some sort of beverage and a comfortable seat cushion is recommended.

Types of People to Watch:

Males: Interesting at first, but monotonous after 6 minutes. Be sure when watching to observe their gorilla-like hunched postures, the swagger of their walk, and excessive scratching. The conversation usually revolves around "cars," "repair of cars," and "cars and girls." If the male is eating, note the way their jaw snatches at sandwich/burger/burrito, like a wolf gnawing a lamb. Also, the disorder of an area increases by 10.7% once occupied by a male. However, after 6 minutes the watcher will generally lose interest in the male as the conversation changes from blue cars to red cars.

Females: falls into subcategories. See below.

Pre-teen Females: Conversation consists of "OmgOrlandoBloom!" "OmgPopMusic!" "OmgMakeUp!" "OmgCuteBoys!" The sound of their chatter resembles a flock of squirrels. Too much listening to their conversation may result in loss of 20-30 IQ points. Beware, the excessively bright color palette of pre-teen girls has known to blind those who look upon them.

Teen Females: Prone to whispers, giggles, and shrieks. They will never actually eat food, but may order sodas and coffee. Conversations include "He said that she said the he was a *insult*" and "So and so was doing this and that with so and so yesterday!"  Popular conversation inserts include "like" "omg" and "No. Flipping. Way."  Note the difference between Teen and Preteen:  Lower necklines, shorter skirts, less blue eye shadow, and conversation focuses on gossip and boys.

Neither group of female is particularly interesting to watch unless they make up the following:

Males and Females: Ah, the possibilities. The male has two reactions to this group: boredom (will result in casting wistful glances at passerby's food, dog, anything), hormonal rage (stares at female, small puddle of drool collects on floor, tries to flex, bragging, general stupidity). The female will almost always attempt to flirt with said male by HFPM (hair flips per minute), waving of arms, posing at the end of every sentence, and laughing loudly. This type of activity can be watched with great enjoyment for hours. Conversation is usually impossible to overhear, so it is often necessary for the watcher to create dialogue. Do not be intimidated by this idea, creating dialogue will come naturally as you observe the male/female interaction. Be on the lookout for the third and fourth wheels, usually siblings or easily influenced friends who are forced to stand and wait while the flirtations ensue. You can usually spot the third and fourth wheels by their bored expressions. They will not talk, but stare at the ceiling, watch, and shift posisions every 20 seconds.

There is also the interesting phenomena of Male/Male/Female interaction. The Male/Male will sometimes act as a group of Males: apelike and discussing topics of no interest to the female. If the female is not a forceful enough presence, she will be overruled by the Male/Male discussions of cars and guitars. The female will attempt to reinsert herself into conversation through glares, pouts, HFPM, and clearing of throat. When all fails, she will either get up and leave, or begin to picture ways to make a person mute.

Couples: Don't watch them unless you have not recently eaten and/or have an airsick bag handy. Not for the faint of heart.