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missycindywu
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Name: Cindy
Country: United States
State: Texas
Birthday: 11/14/1986
Gender: Female
Interests: serving God by serving others.
Expertise: Singing loud and out of tune in the shower, praying every morning and night, loving yet annoying all of my friends, banging on the piano, squeaking on the violin, eating 5 meals a day, being able to sleep almost anywhere and anytime, and being the cause of all my mom's white strands of hair...
Occupation: Student
Industry: Entertainment
Message: message meEmail: email me
AIM:  aznmissy86
Member Since:
8/22/2003
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| My Music is Online!!Hello friends,
I have uploaded my songs under "Audio." These are just rough recordings I made at home on my crappy laptop... and some my friend James Koo helped me record.
Please go to www.myspace.com/missycindywu -or- http://cindy-wu.com
to see videos and listen to my songs!!
Please feel free to leave feedback and comments!
Love,
Cindy
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| DECISION OF A LIFETIME
So... here I am, sitting in the hotel suite in New Jersey.. i've
just been chatting with a record producer who really wants to sign me
for like 6 hours... i sang for him, played the piano, etc... and he
really thinks I have so much talent that it would be a waste if I don't
use it. But here's the dilemma, he says I need to really want it, and
have that right "mindset". Now he's a really Christian man, he's a
pastor's son... grew up playing on a gospel worship team and touring
around the country... ten years ago he decided to do mainstream music,
worked with all kinds of artists and producers... started J Records
with Clive Davis... worked on Oliva, Alicia Keys, and O-towns' albums
(the first artists to sign with J Records).... anyhow... he's a really
good guy... clean, friendly, sincere, and morally/spriritually
grounded. He and I connect on that level.
Pursuing music is what I've always wanted... ever since I was born, I
knew I wanted to be a performer. I thought maybe being a concert
pianist would be a great way to go, but I realized that I just didn't
love that lifestyle very much. I found a passion for singing in high
school/early college, and also started writing songs and working on my
dance skills. I've never thought of anything else but this, because
everything else just seems wrong and boring to me.
For a long time, going back to Taiwan was an option, but after working
there with a few producers for the past 4 years... I realized that the
entertainment industry is not doing very well, and the kind of music I
like doesn't really fit into what the Asian market wants. And the skill
level of producers/artists there are not at the same caliber as
musicians here. (not saying one is better than the other, they're just
very different)....America is my home. And I want to stay here. But I'm
Chinese. And the opportunities and connections I have here are
limited... actually, well, NONEXISTENT. So I've been praying for a long
time for God to provide me the way, the "right" way for me... because I
don't want to just sign with anybody... if I just wanted to release a
record, I would've just signed with Universal when I was seventeen and
then I would've never even gone to college. But i don't want to just be
packaged and thrown out there... I want to have a voice, and i want to
build my own image, and I want to set a good example, and I want to
REALLY LOVE my music!!!! I needed to find a management team that would
believe in me, and push me in the right direction, and not just use me
to make money, but actually take the time to cultivate me into a
well-rounded artist.
But today, the producer told me the harsh reality of this industry: SEX
APPEAL. This piece of the pie is something I've always known about from
the start and it's an area of the industry I've really fought with. A
part of me knows that sex appeal is everything these days... but I
refuse to believe that I have to be like everyone else in order to
"make it." I don't want to lose who I am to please the audience. i
don't believe people will only like me or buy my album if I'm hot and
sexy, etc. I don't want to be wearing provocative clothing and doing
scandalous moves or sexy photoshoots (like say, a lingerie photoshoot
for the cover of Maxim or Rolling Stones)... I don't want to compromise
the image I want to portray of myself in order to gain fans and
success.
But at the same time, YOU HAVE TO PLAY THE GAME. The producer told me
that you as the artists has to able to separate work life from home
life. That the entertainment world cannot become your lifestyle and you
have to know how to not "become" it. What he means is that on stage,
you wear a "uniform"... it's a job, but off-stage, you are you and you
can do/wear/act however you want.
I've always said that no matter what, I'm not going to ever wear
anything sexy and revealing or do any sexy/provocative dance moves...
but at the same time, if I want to be successful, it's all a part of
it. Of course, there's always compromise, but there's also sacrifice.
And right now, I'm not sure how much I'm willing to sacrifice in order
to make this dream of mine come true. In the end, will it be worth it?
Can I balance who I am and be like Beyonce, Mya, etc... who are
extremely sexy women... and still be seen as classy, elegant,
sophisticated?
Will God approve of my decisions? Or will He look down on me and be disappointed?
Friends, please give me some advice. Because I need to make a decision
soon. If I say "yes", I will have a single out in a 3-4 months.... if I
say "no," then this is the end of the road for me.
With much love,
Cindy | | |
| In Disguise"Sit down. We need to talk."
"I think not."
"I insist."
"I refuse."
"I need to know. You look at me sometimes, you say things, apparently in jest, but ... you let other people believe that we could be more than friends. Perhaps you deem it of little importance that they believe you are in love with me. But I cannot be so blithe about such assumptions. I've already had to deal with plenty of rumors and suspicions. And I hate it. I hate that people look at us, and wonder what roles and disguises we're trying to play."
"We know what is real between us. What others may wonder about should remain their issue, not ours."
"I want to know! It does matter, and I want to know, once and for all. Who are you? Why are you here? What do you really feel for me? Why do you let others believe you are in love with me?"
"I am who I am. I'm here because it suits my purposes and needs. I am unthreatening and without power, I don't bother anyone."
"So you're just 'playing a role' because it 'suits your purpose'? And what is your purpose? Are you here playing this 'role' only to get close to me?"
"Of course. Make of that what you will."
"I see. Nothing is real then. I've never known you at all then, have I?"
"Yes. You have. You more than anyone in my life."
"If that is true, then I think you owe me the truth about yourself. What is the reality, not what you joke about or allow others to suspect? Who are you? What is it you feel for me?"
"You know who I am. You seek a false comfort when you demand that I define myself for you with words. Words do not contain or define any person. A heart can, if it is willing. But I fear yours is not. You know more of the whole of me than any other person who breathes, yet you persist in insisting that all of that cannot be me. What would you have me cut off and leave behind? And why must I truncate myself in order to please you? I would never ask that of you. And by those words, admit another truth. You know what I feel for you. You have known it for years. Let us not, you and I, alone here, pretend that you don't. You know I love you. I always have. I always will."
"And you know I love you too. As one loves their dearest friend. I feel no shame in that. But to let anyone else think we take it beyond friendship's bound, that you would want to be with me, is..."
"I love you... I set no boundaries on my love. None at all. Do you understand me?"
"Only too well, I fear! I would never... do you understand me? I could never desire you as a lover. Never."
"And that too is a thing that we both have known for years. A thing that never needed speaking, those words that I must now carry with me for the rest of my life. We could have gone all our lives and never had this conversation. Now you have doomed us both to recall it forever. Did you ever truly believe I might seek from you something that you did not share my desire for? Well do I know how distasteful you would find that. Well do I know that seeking that from you would irreparably damage all else that we have shared. So I have always avoided this very discussion that you have forced upon our friendship. It was ill done. Ill done and unnecessary."
- from Robbin Hobb's "Golden Fool"
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| Be a Hero "How can you stand there innocently,
knowing that it's his LIFE on the line, and do nothing about it? Don't you feel
any guilt or shame???"
"There's nothing I can do! Besides, I haven't done
anything wrong. I AM innocent!"
"Half the evil in this world occurs while decent people
stand by and do 'nothing wrong'. It's not enough to just refrain from doing
evil. People have to attempt to do right, even if they believe they
cannot succeed."
"Even when it's stupid to try?"
"Especially then. That's how it's done. You
break your heart against this stony world. You fling yourself at it, on
the side of good, and you do not ask the cost. THAT'S how you do
it."
"Do what? Get myself killed? For the sake of being a
hero?"
"Perhaps... perhaps that. But it is definitely
how you redeem yourself. How you become a hero. Don't tell me
you've never wanted to be the hero."
"I've never wanted to be the hero. All I ever
wanted to do was live my own life. Peacefully, quietly. And I'm having
darn little success at that."
"Only because you keep standing back from it. And
turning aside from it. And avoiding it. Open your eyes. This
horrible mess IS your life. There is no sense in waiting for it to get
better. Stop putting it off and live it. Everyone thinks courage is
about facing death without flinching. But almost anyone can do that.
Almost anyone can hold their breath and not scream for as long as it takes to
die. True courage is facing life without flinching. And I don't
mean the times when the right path is hard, but glorious at the end. I'm
talking about enduring the boredom, and the messiness, and the inconvenience of
doing what is right."
"Impossible. I'm already a failure. I can't even
help myself, or the people I love. How can I help the world?
"Stop. Stop thinking you're a miserable, no good,
nobody. Just because you may not be who your parents expected you to be,
doesn't mean you aren't somebody. Stop using every mistake you make as an
excuse to fail completely. Stop walking away from the people who need you. Stop walking away from the person you could
be.” | | |
| Sacrifice for Love? "I don't want all the things a real woman would want. I don't
dream of babies and a pretty house. I don't want a settled home, and a
growing family. I'm not even sure I want a husband. I guess I'm
odd... since I don't want any of the things a woman is supposed to
want. And I should want him. I mean.. I do want him. I like him. I
enjoy his company. When he touches my hand, it warms me. But when I
consider marrying him and all that would go with it.... it's not what I
want. It would cost too much. Even though it would, perhaps, be wise."
"I see. So you don't love him."
"I could. But I don't allow myself to love him. It's like wanting
something you can't possibly afford. There is no reason NOT to love
him, save that there is so much.... attached to him. His family. His
inheritance. His career... The man himself is wonderful. But I can't
bring myself to give up everything I'd have to surrender to love him."
"Ah."
"He has expectations. They don't include me moving with him
wherever he goes, and it may be thousands of miles away. He'd want me
to settle down and manage things for him. I'd make a home for him to
come back to, and raise our children and keep our household in order.
I'd do everything that needed to be done so that he could go off
without any worries and build his career. If I decide to love him, to
marry him, it would cost me everything else I've ever wanted to do with
my life. I'd have to lay it all down for the sake of loving him."
"And that's not what you want to do with your life?"
"No. I don't want to be the wind in his sails. That's what I want
someone ELSE to do for ME. Wait, no... that didn't come out right. I'm
not explaining this very well."
"On the contrary, I think you are uncomfortable only because you
have stated it so plainly. You want someone who will follow your
dream. You don't want to give up your own ambitions to make someone
else's life possible."
"I suppose that's true... why is that so wrong?"
"It isn't..... as long as you're male."
"I can't help it. That's what I want. Don't try to tell me that that's what love is, giving it all up for someone else?"
"But for some people, it is. Others are like two horses in harness, pulling together toward a goal."
"I suppose that wouldn't be so bad... but why can't people love one another and still remain free?"
"Hmm... one can love that way. But the price on that kind of love
may be the highest of all. In order to love another person like that,
you have to admit that his life is as important as yours. Harder
still, you have to admit to yourself that perhaps he has needs you
cannot fill, and that you have tasks that will take you far away from
him. It costs loneliness and longing and doubt and ---"
"Why must love cost anything? Why does need have to be mixed up
with love? Why can't people be like butterflies, coming together in
bright sunshine and parting while the day is still bright?"
"Because they are people, not butterflies. To pretend that people
can come together, love and then part with no pain or consequences is
more false a role than pretending to be someone you're not. Don't,
please, convince yourself that you can be with him and walk away from
it without diminishing both of you. A moment ago, you spoke of love
without need. To sate your need without love is theft. When you agree
to be in a relationship with someone, there is always a committment.
Sometimes that commitment is only that you will both pretend that it is
short-term and temporary. But sometimes that commitment is made only
to yourself. The other party never knows it or agrees to it."
"That's not what I was saying --"
"Love isn't just about feeling sure of the other person, knowing
what he would give up for YOU. It's knowing with certainty what YOU
are willing to surrender for HIS sake. Make no mistake; each partner
gives up something. Individual dreams are surrendered for a shared
one. In some marriages, one partner gives up almost everything she
once thought she wanted. But it's not always the woman who does so.
Such sacrifice is not shameful. It's love. If you think the man is
worth it, it works."
"So do you think if I tried, if I married him, that I'd change my mind?"
"Well, someone would certainly have to."
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Inspired excerpts by: Robbin Hobb's "Liveship Traders"
And here's to irresponsible men who give in to their passions... so that women can claim it was none of their doing. 
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