Tuesday, April 15, 2008

• Dealing with disappointing....

  Currently Listening The Book of Secrets By Loreena McKennitt The Highwayman see related

  It is impossible to please everyone.  A harsh truth for those of us who want people to think well of us.  The last couple of months that's one of the realities in my life that I'm coming to terms with.  I'm almost thirty-six, and you'd think I would have had this figured out a long time ago, but truthfully, I'm just starting to be comfortable with the fact that there will be people who think I'm a brilliant decision maker, and people who are disappointed in the choices I make.  Ultimately, we are all fickle.  We look at life through our own personal lens and  consequently, our opinions about what others are doing are always filtered through that lens.  Some people are looking through a wide-angle lens and others scrutinize life through a very narrow lens.
  For years I have dealt with the criticism and skepticism from people about our decision to homeschool, and now I'm dealing with the disappointment of some because we have stopped.  I wish it wasn't that way, but that is life and I am forced to recognize my own tendency to be critical of other people. It makes me more determined to look at people and search deeper for the reasons behind their decisions, instead of assuming I know all the variable and factors.
  When I hear someone has been openly critical it's hard not to react. My fighter instinct kicks in and I want to go defend myself or those around me.  This weekend, though, after hearing about a conversation where I was a topic and it was not all positive, I found myself stepping back and pondering the comments instead of searching for the rebuttal.  Some of what this person had said was true, it was just taken in the wrong way.  Some of it was just petty, and the rest of it was just their opinion.  That's it.  Just an opinion.  It's not truth set in stone, it's just a very narrow-lens view of someone who doesn't really even know me.
  So today I sat and almost started chuckling when I realized I was able to let that criticism go.  Along with some of the other comments or reactions from people that have plagued me. Some of my family members and close friends have commented...those words are given a lot of credence.  Other than that, when I let go of the disapproval from outsiders, I think this is what my mother was talking about when she said, "You'll get over that as you get older!"
  
  

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