1. Run down to the park at a nice easy gait. Not pushing. Just relax and run.
2. Notice that your heart rate monitor says your heart rate is 42. Check to see if you are dead. Notice that you are not.
3. Spit on your hand and rub it on your heart rate monitor strap.
4. Ignore strange looks from creepy man sitting in a truck.
5. Run some more. Note that your heart rate monitor now says your heart rate is 226.
6. Check to see if you are dead. Note that you are not.
7. Get angry with heart rate monitor, yank the strap out from under your shirt and throw it on the ground.
8. Ignore strange looks from creepy man.
9. Put HRM strap back on and call yourself a baby.
10. Run around the fields doing Fartleks.
11. Laugh like Beevis at the word Fartleks.
12. Be proud of how fast you're going. Pretend that others would also think it is fast.
13. Finish your Fartleks and run out of the park.
14. Hit a speed bump with your foot and literally fall flat on your face.
15. Sit up and cry for a minute, but realize that even though your nose
is throbbing, your chin is growing an egg, you just scraped the knee
that had JUST lost its scab from the fall you took two weeks ago, and
your hands are full of rocks, that you're feeling pretty darn good.
16. Thank the nice man (not Mr. Creepy) who stopped to make sure you were okay.
17. Feel proud when he tells you he was impressed with your run.
18. Put your headphones back in and laugh at the fact that the theme from Rocky is just starting!
19. Run back to work where you have to do night interviews (which is
part of the reason you were so cranky in the first place, hence the HRM
throwing incident).
20. Marvel at your Jimmy Durante nose, your Jay Leno Chin, and say to yourself, "Yeah Baby, I look HOTTTTT!"
See! Running is never a dull moment!
Comments (3)
I didn't know if I should laugh or cry when I read that.
So I laughed so hard I cried...
Oh, dear...Next time I'm at the park (Jennings?), I'll stomp on that nasty speedbump (TAKE THAT!) for you! Speaking of parks, on Monday I finally visited a park I had previously viewed on satellite images of Marysville--the NorthPointe Park with a nice but short trail near Munson Creek. (Nice surrounding neighborhoods, too...about made me wish I lived there instead of 6 miles out of town.) I did my warm-up on the trail, then did my fartleks on a side street. Fartleks is a cute word, isn't it? You probably know it's Swedish. (I'm part Swedish!)
Do you like your heart rate monitor or not? I'm too cheap to buy one. I just go by my breathing rate and perceived rate of exertion. However, I feel that a watch with a stopwatch feature is indispensable!
-Shirley
Oh you poor thing!
I fear I may re-enact your day one day soon. My HRM is all over the map (or my heart is, never too sure) and my last couple of runs were mostly stumbles in a row. I'm due for a fall, it's been a couple of years!
Hope you're not too sore!