Saturday, July 05, 2008

• Wow it's been a long time.  We're finally done with all the craziness and are trying to get back into a normal routine of some kind.  Any kind really.

  Playdates, MOPS functions, a baby shower, some birthdays, we had a heat wave and I attempted to get a group portrait of the 3 kids. Ha.  Ha ha. 

  The thing on my mind, though, is a person I've never met.  Some of you know that I'm fairly active on another forum dedicated to parents of babies born during a particular time period.  There have been times of amazingly immature drama, some misunderstandings, some times that I've taken a break from the board.  But there is a great group of women I've really connected with and I've met two fo them in real life.  For over a year we have posted about our child, our families and ourselves.  We know each other within this small group.  Among the board at large there are some women whose posts I look forward to reading either because they are similar to me or because they challenge me.  This person challenged me.  We disagree completely on politics.  We disagree somewhat on religion.  But we agree on sleep issues and many parenting issues.  She was quick with words and succinct in her writings.  She was open and honest about so very many things, yet kept her personal details a secret for over a year.  No one knows her city, address, phone, email or her last name.  She never posted a photo of herself or her child.  Her 13 month old died in his sleep a few days ago.  He had had a fever for a few days and suffered at least 2 febrile seizures that had them in the ER twice.  After running many tests, they were discharged.  It was that evening he died.  I understand that he went to bed about 8:30, she checked on him at 10:30, dad checked on him at 11:30 and he was blue.  The autopsy revealed nothing.  For now many in the group are making donations to the Autism Society in his honor (she had a nephew with severe autism).  His death also raised our awareness of SUDC - Sudden Unexplained Death in Childhood, click here for the website.  I don't live a life of fear and I don't allow fear much time in my thoughts.  But I grieve for my "friend" and acquaintance.  A fellow mother who just lost her firstborn son.  I cuddle my own 1 year old a little more and play with him and enjoy his emerging personality.  For a few days, I will let the small things slide and focus on the big things.  Discipline the important things, enjoy the little moments.

  It's kind of amazing what kind of friendships can be formed from blogging, posting and generally interacting on the internet.   From my blog buddies, Heartbeat accountability friends, and some whom I really did know in real life first (but we keep in touch better on the internet) I'm glad we have this vehicle.  I hope these tragedies are few and far between.  I hope to celebrate many more happy times than sad.  But these friendships are real, just as real as if you were to sit in my livingroom and share your day.  Thanks for sharing.

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