"I'm just hurt, that's all. Humans naturally want to blame something.
-Well, I pretty much prepared myself for everything, you know.
-Yeah. And I resent you for that. You recovery time is insultingly fast, that's all. I know it's not anyone's fault though.
-There is a chance I'll break down in the near future, you know. Cause I do that. Randomly. I'll be playing black jack, and all of a sudden, I'll start crying because I miss you. Or something.
-...I've never seen you do that, and it makes me sad... but kind of comforts me, I guess. But... Not hearing your voice, not seeing you... only getting this text makes it seem like you're an iceberg. Just because of the medium. It all went away when you called, you know. And it's sick... but what you said makes me feel better. God this is sick. I guess... it all boils down to feeling alone. Not wanting to suffer alone.
-Would it make you feel better if I told you I'm having a miserable time? Hypothetically?
-Not rationally. But emotionally, of course it would. It's sick. That's why I told you I couldn't talk to you until both sides of me were in agreement towards your well-being, and not focused solely on my pain. And I know I'm being terribly selfish. I guess just... I just want to feel needed. Not like some discarded memory.
-Well that's the thing, I think. I never think of you as a memory, even now. I don't think there's anything I can't talk to you about. And likewise I want you to feel the same.
- I know... It's just.. the physical absence is hard. Like a ghost, almost. A ghost that hangs around my room all the time. On the metro. In the shower. In my bed. It's weird, but that's how it feels. I'll never not associate this place with you. And now... all I see are words. And I resent them, because they are not even half of you. I can never tell what you really mean on the screen. And whatever I may say to you... I just want you to know that the only real issue behind everything is that I miss you so much. Just always assume that's what's going on. It's just that it's hard sometimes... because I can never see that grin on your face that lets me know you're teasing me.
we all go through it. most of us make it out the other end as stronger individuals.
all she wanted. all she needed!
you have such varying art styles--it's quite interesting.
I don't like ghosts.
They are the friends that metaphorically pass out on your couch.
Only, their ghosts and pass out anyway, and then decide to wake up in the middle of the night and slam cupboards and doors and such. And they nag you in voices that no one else can hear.
Comments (5)
HOT.
i never knew what she really wanted either.
nice art work.
we all go through it. most of us make it out the other end as stronger individuals.
all she wanted. all she needed!
you have such varying art styles--it's quite interesting.
I don't like ghosts.
They are the friends that metaphorically pass out on your couch.
Only, their ghosts and pass out anyway, and then decide to wake up in the middle of the night and slam cupboards and doors and such. And they nag you in voices that no one else can hear.
They can be quite annoying, ghosts...