| | New Soul.I'm a new soul
I came to this strange world hoping I could learn a bit about how to give and take.
But since I came here
Felt the joy and the fear
Finding myself making every possible mistake
It one of those moments again, when I think and the door opens up to my mind, so wide, and I become hyper-aware of every detail and feeling. The world floods my senses, and I can't stop it. Like a rushing wind, everything continually flies in, and I can only wait until it stops.
As I wait, I take it all in.
All these thoughts rushing through my mind have to do with the past, the present, and the future.
I'm a young soul
in this very strange world hoping I could learn a bit about what is true and fake.
But why all this hate?
Try to communicate.
Finding trust and love is not always easy to make.
First of all, the past.
The one big thing in my "past", or really what was just the past few months, was a friendship that came and gone.
I thought friendships were stronger, but the fading of that friendship and the virtual disappearance of another has left me scared of losing everything else.
This fear overwhelms me, leaves me crying at night and gasping for air in the morning.
It's a selfish wish, wanted what I once had.
That's one thing I'm working on - appreciating what I had, and suppressing the desire for it once again.
I have to learn to deal with the silence and move on.
I have to grow up, mature.
This is a happy end
'cause you don't understand
everything you have done
why's everything so wrong
The present.
I feel like running away more and more everyday, but I'm held back by the thought of all the work I need to do before I can really grasp my freedom.
But if I grit my teeth anymore from my father's stupidity, I'll lose it.
It's getting worse and worse everyday.
I thought it would end a few weeks ago, but that was just a threat.
More and more, my mother questions my father's mental state, I question the true meaning of a family, and my brother is lost in it all.
We're still looking for the answers.
This is a happy end
come and give me your hand
I'll take your far away.
Worrying about the future.
I finally passed the swimming requirement for graduation, so there's little standing in my way to college except for financial problems, a few more classes to pass, acceptances letters...so many hurdles in such a short span of time until I'm done with high school.
For now, I imagine myself in Boston. But that's still uncertain.
How far away will I go for college?
Who will continue to connect their lives to me?
In the tangled web of life, I'm trying to hold as many strings close to my heart as possible, as many red strings of fate tied to my finger. But I can only tie so many until I'm done.
I'm a new soul
I came to this strange world hoping I could learn a bit about how to give and take.
But since I came here
felt the joy and the fear
finding myself making every possible mistake
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| | Posted 2/7/2008 11:32 PM - 132 views - 0 comments
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