| | One sided messages. Drowning in the silence of waiting for the bus, I thought about all my one sided crushed. It'd be nice if I could let go of them all, just take every single love letter I've written on paper or in my mind and burn them, blow the ashes away, and watch them sink into the fresh soil. Alternatively, I'd like to take those letters and instead of burning them, hide them all over the city. I don't care who finds them, at least someone else will know who I once liked. I can't keep these things to myself for too long but I can't tell anyone directly either, it's too fleeting to last.
Boy-from-my-Econ-class. I know his name, I see pictures of him, but he's never said a word to me. The only thing he's done that affected me was when he let me hand in the assignment first. I'm friends with his friends, we're in the same grade. That's all. I didn't admire him from afar, I just thought about him a lot. I couldn't look at him in class anyway, I sat all the way in the front.
Classmate-in-two-of-my-classes-right-now. I took him for granted, especially since he seemed pretty perverted. One of my friends finds him annoying, but I found out he's pretty nice. He seems to respect me, because he asks me for my opinion, turned to me when he forgot if we had homework...it surprised me that he would say, "Thanks, I love you" so easily when I let him take my seat. Things like that stick, but again, though he knows people I know, it won't go anyway.
Rejected-me-nicely-one. He's changed the days he works now, so I can't see him. There's little chance I will see him before I graduate, so I'll just have to wait. For him, I'll wait. There's something that keeps me going. Maybe it was the dream where he laughed off my mistake, or how he's been in every dream before that in the background, so far away. In my dream last night, he finally walked from the background to right next to me, laughing and smiling. But where is he now? Does he remember me at all?
There's more. Maybe I'll add to this, going all the way back to elementary.
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| | Posted 2/23/2008 9:17 PM - 138 views - 5 comments
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