Thursday, May 08, 2008

• Moving Out of a place called: Rut Central

  I did find myself in Rut Central, as I like to call it, I place I only visit every now and then, and it's never enjoyable. The place simply brings me down, depresses me, it's almost as if it takes away who I am - only temporarily, thankfully. For those of you who didn't read my "rut" post, check it out here and right here before continuing. Now that we have that settled, moving on to the updates...

  • My Schedule: Has it improved? Yes. Am I happy about it? No. I'm sure that sounds strange, but I went from 60 to 0 in 2.5. My schedule was so hectic and chaotic before, and now it's totally in zero land. I have basically nothing booked, I took off work for quite a while after somethings went down with parents. I had to stay close to home because of those problems, so I've been pretty stuck lately and I didn't have much of choice. However, everything is done and over with now, and everyone is happy (finally!). So this means that I can finally get back that "hectic" and "chaotic" schedule that surprisingly, has been dearly missed.
  • My Dog: After taking her to the vet, constantly giving her attention and taking wonderful care of my adorable poodle - I am happy to announce that she is a very healthy, and cute teacup poodle. I'm afraid my "Princess" (Note: Her name is Princess, to those of you who don't know) thinks she has turned into a Queen with the treatment she's been receiving lately. Yes! I admit it! I'm a spoiling mother!
  • My Parents: As I mentioned with my schedule above, my parents issues are no longer existent, thank God. And I truly mean that sincerely, not as sarcasm - and I totally just pulled a fragment in this sentence. Anyway, many of my issues were caused by parents, unfortunately to say. However, now that their problems are over, I feel as though I can get past mine and forget about this crazy situation.
  • As for that whole "Fabulous" thing: In quick review: I have always wanted to be able to answer the simple question, "How are you?" with the word "Fabulous" and literally mean it. Though I've never said it either way, and unfortunately, I still haven't. Don't beat me up too bad though, after all, my parents problems just got solved yesterday.
  • I have regained my willingness to help others & my kindness: Thankfully! As I mentioned above, it seems that Rut Central takes away who I am for awhile, and now that I've left that horrific place, I'm just about back to my old self again.

  Note: BEWARE! Do Not Turn Here! Stay away from Rut Central, Stay Away! It should be illegal to turn here...okay, it is now illegal to turn here! No Left Turns!

  • But what about regaining your happiness? Oh yeah, almost forgot about the update on this one. Well, this one is not quite over yet. I was ecstatic about my parents problems being over finally, which gave me room to get over the ones I attained from those problems. Most of them have seemed to just fly away with the wind, and disappear into the sky...however, the only one that's left is my happiness - it isn't up to par yet.

  I think I may need some help with this one, here are a few details if they are any count.

  -I am happy that others problems are solved and that all of mine, but one are solved. However, without my complete happiness I feel a little empty inside, at the end of the day.

  -I can only remember about two-three times I ever felt complete happiness. The times where everything seemed to be going in the right direction, my career was finally getting started, my friends and family were all around me and supporting me, just so many things were going wonderfully. Most of those very things have died down and aren't as exciting or great anymore.

  -Maybe, I have a problem with just being happy with myself, and myself alone. It seems that I get upset and attain problems with other people are having them, I might be too easily influenced by them and let them affect me too much - although, I assure you, I had no way of getting out of or staying away from my parents problems. Thankfully, there are others that I can stay out of, and am glad to do so.

  -I just do not know, my dear friends. My life-long goal of happiness has to be acheivable in some way, I just haven't found it yet. Come on, help me out here - pretty please with extra chocolate sprinkles on top, and a virtual cookie? [Sorry, it seems I had a 6-year-old moment]

  Truthfully, I think I need to attain this INSTEAD of another problem...well, I'd probably end up eating it. :/

  

  • 9:35 PM
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