Wednesday, May 28, 2008
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After I wrote the entry about my year of fashion crimes, I thought I'd be writing more here. I've been writing a lot, actually, but not much for public consumption, though I'm working on a short story that I kind of like.
Things have been pretty dicey around our house. Parenting teenagers is not for the weak. I'm aging in Lincoln years right now, and I'm pretty much not sleeping at all. Something has to change, but there are so many ways things could go. I just want to keep my kid alive, out of jail and (I hope) from destroying her future, and am willing to do whatever it takes for that to happen.
I just don't have that much to say. I'm kind of in hell right now and hoping for some relief. I've become "that friend" who no one wants to call because they don't want to hear about it anymore. I've temporarily lost my passion for, you know, everything.
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Perfect Family: A Novel
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Comments (13)
I'll be praying....
Sounds stressful!!!
teenagers will do that to you! hang in there! it gets better! not easier... just better!
My oldest went a little nuts in the 8th grade and it just got worse and worse. She says it started earlier but I guess it doesn't matter when it started because she is rock solid now. She does hair at Dosha on 23rd and I sometimes wonder if I had believed in her, let her fail instead of saving her ass every time could she have learned early on how to pull it together by herself. The only reason she graduated was because her sister wrote a term paper for her at the last minute.
I wish I had believed in her ability to succeed because I think it would have given her the message that she was okay instead of the mess I saw. But to be honest I don't think I could do it any differently. I am so reactionary with my kids. She always knew I loved her though and we are on great terms now but I think deep down she still resents that I didn't trust her.
Hugs.
I'm still here for you.
Alive and out of jail are two good goals. Just keep your eye on those two balls and don't worry so much about the lesser stuff. I was a MESS in high school and look how great I am now?? Seriously, the two things that saved me: staying out of jail, and staying alive. And then sinking or swimming on my own, in the world of table-waiting.
This, too, shall pass. I've been there, and all I can say is that they eventually grow up and come to their senses. Don't let it make you doubt yourself. It's easy to turn the anger and resentment inwards and start beating yourself up for not being a good parent or for not having a spouse. I went through all of that. That's why it's good you are working on your short story--if only to keep your sense of your self. If you ever want a shoulder to cry on, message or e-mail me, because I've been through it and truly, truly understand.
Lynn
P.S, I still have not seen any of the French Open. Maybe today.
I don't have kids, so I'm not much help there, but I will say that Xanga is the perfect place to write when you feel like all your friends have had enough of your whining. There's always someone on Xanga happy to listen to your problems. Thank god for that.
I heard a child psychologist say once that that is the parent's #1 job: just keeping the kid alive until they grow into their horomones and their brains and their bodies settle down.
My oldest just failed 7th grade. A's on tests, 0's on homework. Guess what, kid, just knowing the stuff ain't enough, you got to play the game. So far the attitude/rage/poor me stuff only comes out occasionally.
It's going to be really tough on him next year being separated from the rest of his grade, but I had to put him in the "school within a school," and will hope that this special ultra-structured, zero-excuses program will shake him up.
Sending you love......
It all works out in the end, really it does...just keep everyone together and take lots of pictures, you aren't going to want to let them forget all the work you did during these hard years.
I hope things get better soon, I'll send some good thoughts your way.