Thursday, April 08, 2004

• I don't think I ever told you about my sister's wedding.

   

  They were married outdoors on the patio of a restaurant (Italian, I think). It was really nice--the weather was good, and all that.

   

  My kids and I arrived about 15 minutes before it was due to start, and there weren't that many seats left.  There were a lot of people, my dad included, swarming around the bar. My dad looked fantastic in a dark blue suit (clearly picked out for him by someone else). I have never seen my dad look so nice. The only other time I've seen him in a suit was at my mom's funeral, and he wore his 100-year-old green suit for that.

   

  We went up and said hi to my dad, who was hanging out with his buddy, Frank. Frank is like your obnoxious uncle, bound to embarrass you, but you have to invite him anyway. My dad used to work with Frank's first wife years ago, and dad and Frank have just been pals ever since.

   

  I looked out on the patio saw Ken, my old neighbor from Chico, sitting with his daughter in the second row, and the rest of his family behind him in the third row. He pointed to the chairs in front of him, but I didn't think we should take the front row. There were four in the row, and he said that as long as we left one for my dad, it was fine (how he knew this, I don't know).

   

  We sat, and immediately some overbearing wedding planner wannabe (I could tell she wasn't a real wedding planner) came over and told us the seats were for family only, and that she'd "have to have us move to the back."

   

  "Do the bride's sister and nieces count as family?" I asked. I was really unduly annoyed by this whole thing. It wasn't her fault, but after my sister stood us up the night before, I was just a little edgy.

   

  ***Edit for yardenxanthe: yes, we stayed in the front row.***

   

  I was a little confused, because my dad had pointed my sister's fiance out to me, and I saw the guy everywhere. He was greeting people at the door, taking pictures, running over to the bar, running to the back room. I figured he was nervous and had a lot of energy to burn, but my gosh!

   

  As it turns out, he has a twin brother. That was kind of a relief, because I thought he was on speed or something.

   

  Once everyone was situated, my dad walked my sister down the aisle. She looked stunning, possibly the most beautiful bride in history.

  
  The ceremony itself was short. The PA announcer for the Sacramento Kings was the officiant. Both my sister and brother-in-law work for the Kings; that was how they met.

   

  There was a quick speech, a song, the vows, the kiss, and that was it.

   

  We all waited around for a while the couple had photos taken. I had a couple of drinks and visited with the people I knew there. In addition to my dad, Frank, and our old neighbors, my uncle (my dad's brother), my aunt, and their son (a cousin, just about four months younger than I am) and his 5-year-old daughter were there. It was nice to visit with them. My cousin lives very close to me and has three kids (I hadn't seen him since his wedding, but I knew they'd had one child), so we're going to plan to get together for a barbecue or something. He and I sat together at lunch and I really enjoyed the conversation. His wife and two sons were at home.

   

  We went into another room and had lunch (fortunately, we were seated at the family table) and had a great time and good food. If you ever go to a restaurant called Lucca in Sacramento, I recommend getting a pasta called Mezzaluna: cheese-stuffed pasta in a creamy citrus-flavored sauce. Very good.

   

  Afterward, we went back to the patio and the newlyweds danced. They served cake (lemon-poppyseed, very good) on the patio. The dancing never really took off, despite the presence of the entire Sacramento Kings Dance Team, which my sister manages/coaches/directs, etc. We hung out for a while, I got mildly buzzed, and we left shortly after my sister and brother-in-law did. We did say goodbye and chat with them for a minute before they left. They seemed really happy and he seems like a really great guy.

   

  Then I went back to the hotel and felt awful about everything.

   

  My friend Stacey, who provided a great beginning to the day by meeting us for breakfast (and buying), called me that evening to see how everything went. She really made me feel better.

   

  ***

   

  I sent my sister a short e-mail today. I had wanted to send a handwritten card, but she and her husband moved into a new house last week, and I don't have the address. I'm also not totally certain about the old address, since I got it from my dad.

   

  There was so much I could have said, but decided to keep it short. I said I didn't have any problems with her at all, that I wanted to let bygones be bygones. If she has problems with me that she needs to discuss, I'm here and totally willing to do so. I talked about how being at the wedding made me realize how much I'd missed out on through the years. Then I just said that I want to take a different path now, for us to create something totally new, and that I'm 100% committed to making a new start.

   

  The ball is officially in her court.

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