so i can't sleep because of all that is going on in my life and heart.

can't even really talk about it because it's so big. but a lot will change, very quickly, this week while I'm in Oklahoma.

Mainly my heart is being awakened.  I mentioned before that I was trying to not let myself feel too much pity or be roused to anger by my maternal instincts towards the girls.  Well they are being roused now and I hope and pray that it's in God's perfect timing and that we are acting according to His plans for us. This is the rest of what's in my heart:

Though I sleep,
My heart is awake
Though it's night, on You I wait

It's been a long night,
And I am weary
It's been a long time,
And I am hungry

So I'll wait in the stillness again
I'll wait in the quiet again

When I heard Your voice
When You said my name
When I heard Your voice
My heart it yearned

In the middle of the night
In the middle of the night
In the middle of the night
My heart it yearns

Though You're far away,
Still I'm here to say
I am Yours, I am Yours
And when You feel so far away,
Still I am here to say:

I am Yours, I am Yours

And I pay my vows,
No turning around
I'll burn the bridges that can't be found

For when I heard Your voice
And You said my name
When I heard Your voice
My heart it yearned
For You
-Misty Edwards

----

America, the beautiful,
my well-fed and dirty friend
you ask too much of me to say stand aside
and watch you head full force to a tragic end
God said he is a lion and his spirit is within me
God said he is a lion and his spirit is within me
and I feel an earth-shaking roar
and I will raise my hands and fight this war
Ashtereth, her mouth aflame,
awaits the infant sacrifice
but ashtereth has many names:
Convenience, Pleasure, Money, Greed and Lies
and is your clinical slaughter really any more civilized?
when you've lost a generation, don't be so surprised
no matter what you say of me
let it be said that I stood
let it be said that I stood
let it be said that I stood...

-Erin Beck of Madison Greene

So... it's gonna be a BOY! a little brother, another son.  little warrior.  how great is that?

how far along the ultrasound says I am:

 Three-year wedding anniversary today, woot woot!!!

{from our 2nd anniversary camping trip, last year}

and from when I was 15, the week God told Monroe he was going to marry me:
(he didn't tell me this until after we were engaged 4 years later <3 )

le sigh.

we are blessed.

-haley

well, I lost a few keys on my keyboard, after a few incidents with water being placed a little too close to the computer. so it takes a remarkably long time to get anything typed, as I have to use copy and paste..

so maybe in a month or two i will get things up and running, but until then, the phone is the best way to contact me.

According to my midwife, I'm at least 5 months pregnant!  Making me due in January.  I got to hear the heartbeat last week for the first time.. such a sweet little shock to the system.  It helps transfer my brain from feeling like all that's going on with my body is that I happen to be constantly hungry, bloated and tired, to the awe-inspired feeling that a child really is daily growing in my womb, and in a few short months, I will get to hold him or her and experience loving someone with every fiber of  my being, all over again.

Shortly, here is what is happening with Delkis, Cathia, and their mother Imelda;

The family grew increasingly hostile toward us being here and disapproving of the way Imelda is "parenting".. to the point that Monroe's mother wouldn't let us even feed them when they were hungry and we had lunch for them, or take care of them when they were hurt.. and Imelda screamed at me that I'm not allowed to speak to her girls after I said "please don't push the baby down, he is allowed to go outside" when the 16 year old (kelly) and Cathia shoved him and made him fall and hit his head, to keep him from going past them out the front door. 
So we realized that there's no reason for us to live in this house anymore, since we were primarily here to take care of Delkis and Cathia, and help Imelda if she accepted it--- (with getting off drugs, needing rides to go apply for jobs or look for housing, etc.) which she hasn't.
So we were preparing to move out.  Then Renee and Phil, our friends and mentors in California, called and offered us to come stay in their two spare bedrooms for as long as we want, two months minimum.  There we can be refreshed and ministered to, and monroe can work a minimum wage labor job there, of which there are apparently many available, in 70 degrees for $10.55 instead of here, where work is scarce and when he gets it, it's in 105 degree heat at $6.55. 
not to mention, I'll be able to actually take the baby on walks (there are packs of wild dogs that attack people all oer this neighborhood, we had a close call a month ago 100 yards from our doorstep with two very aggressive dogs trying to attack the baby and I)... and basically just relax.  But we are mostly going to get stable and ministered to there.. we are actually doing amazing right now, but it's mostly due to the way God is using them to influence us even over the phone.. so we think this is a great opportunity to go to another level in our relationship. 
We'll also be celebrating our three year anniversary this weekend, so when we go over there we plan to go camping in the redwoods, by some waterfalls and the ocean, in honor of that.  I'm so excited.

So we will leave in about three weeks, stay there two months or so, and then we plan to come back right when our case with CPS will be opened, and get a place to live with room for the girls, as we will probably be foster parenting them or something similar.

love,

haley