Friday, July 11, 2008

• War Within a Breath

  
  
  
  
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  But people recover from disappointment. Otherwise we'd all be hanging from nooses.
  
  
  
  
  If roses are meant to be red and violets to be blue, why isn't my heart meant for you? My hands longing to touch you but I can barely breathe. Starry eyes that make me melt right in front of me. Lost in this world, I even get lost in this song and when the lights go down that is where I'll be found.
  
  
  Each and every time I turn around to leave, I feel my heart begin to burst and bleed. Desperately I try to link it with my head but instead I fall back to my knees as you tear your way right through me. I forgive you once again without me knowing you’ve burnt my heart to stone.
  
  
  
  I'd tried to tell him that first day. I'd said I didn't always tell the truth, that I didn't handle conflict well, that anger scared me, that I was used to people just disappearing when they were mad. Our mistake was that we'd both thought I was capable of changing. That I had changed. In the end, though, that was the biggest lie of all.
  
  
  I'm watching your shadow cut by the moon, peaceful I wait for the dawn. These moments in silence are all that I need, the softness of hearing you breathe. And I know it doesn't get better than this, funny it starts with just one little kiss.
  
  
  
  I'm thinking all the time how to tell you what I feel. I'm contemplating phrases, I'm gazing at eternity, I am floating in serenity and I am so lost for words and I am so overwhelmed. So close your eyes but don't dream too deep and please pass me some memories and when I fall you're underneath 1000 broken hearts carried by 1000 broken wings.
  
  
  Tiny heart, stuck inside yourself, when will you open up for me? I love you so, wanna meet you again before one of us must go. Your lips touched every hand but mine in the shadows you shall find. When will you get back to me so we can rest? Tiny heart, you're not by yourself. When will you recognize the beat of my own heart, making your blood flow so that your chest can rise and fall? When you choose me, I'm waiting for you. Always waiting.
  
  
  
  Here's the weight of the world on my shoulders. All alone I pierce the chain and on and on the sting remains and dieing eyes consume me now. The voice inside screams out loud. I am focused on what I am after, the key to the next open chapter because I found a way to steal the sun from the sky. Long live that day that I decided to fly from the inside.
  
  
  This dying youth of beauty and pleasure evaporates. Lives are connected to lasting obsessions that become possessions of waste while buying the next new fashion that's fed to enslave this land of the free.
  
  
  
  You broke my heart when you said goodbye and only you can lift my spirit. You gave me wings and now you're gone. Well I'm crying inside, a thousand tears every time I think of you, lock the pictures away, hide the letters too. Anything to get my mind off you. Tell me how can I look up at the moon when I know that moon shines upon you through that window in your room?
  
  
  Squeaky swings and tall grass, the longest shadows ever cast. The water's warm and children swim and we frolicked about in our summer skin. I don't recall a single care, just greenery and humid air. Then Labor Day came and went and we shed what was left of our summer skin. On the night you left I came over and we peeled the freckles from our shoulders. Our brand new coats so flushed and pink and I knew your heart I couldn't win because the
   seasons change was a conduit and we left our love in our summer skin.
  
  
  
  
  I once knew a girl in the years of my youth with eyes like the summer, all beauty and truth. In the morning I fled, left a note and it read, "Someday you will be loved." I cannot pretend that I felt any regret because each broken heart will eventually mend as the blood runs red down the needle and thread. Someday you will be loved. You'll be loved like you never have known. The memories of me will seem more like bad dreams. Just a series of blurs like I never occurred. Someday you will be loved. You may feel alone when you're falling asleep and everytime tears roll down your cheeks but I know your heart belongs to someone you've yet to meet. Someday you will be loved.
  
  
  Like autumn leaves his sense fell from him, an empty glass of himself shattered somewhere within. His thoughts like a hundred moths trapped in a lampshade. Somewhere within their wings banging and burning on through endless night. Forever awake he lies shaking and starving, praying for someone to turn off the light. Born of a broken man, never a broken man. Born of a broken man, but not a broken man.
  
  
  
  Too many shadows in my room, too many hours in this midnight, too many corners in my mind. So much to do to set my heart right. Oh it's taking so long I could be wrong, I could be ready. Oh but if I take my heart's advice, I should assume it's still unsteady. I am in repair, I am in repair. Stood on the corner for a while to wait for the wind to blow down on me, hoping it takes with it my old ways and brings some brand new look upon me.  And now i'm walking in a park. All of the birds they dance below me. Maybe when things turn green again it will be good to say you know me. Oh it's taking so long I could be wrong, I could be ready. Oh but if I take my heart's advice, I should assume it's still unsteady. I'm in repair, I'm not together but I'm getting there.
  
  
  All the raindrops in the sky tonight can't compare with all the pain and all the tears I've cried but now I'm done. All the make believe locked in this picture frame is gonna stay behind along with all the burning rage that's been tearing through my heart. It's killing me slowly. Every beat, I was falling apart.
  
  
  
  You cut me down a tree and brought it back to me and that's what made me see where I was going wrong. You put me on a shelf and kept me for yourself. I can only blame myself, you can only blame me. And I could write a song a hundred miles long. Well, that's where I belong and you belong with me. And I could write it down or spread it all around. Get lost and then get found or swallowed in the sea. You put me on a line and hung me out to dry and darling that's when I decided to go to see you. You cut me down to size and opened up my eyes, made me realize what I could not see. And I could write a book. The one they'll say that shook the world, and then it took it took it back from me. You belong with me, not swallowed in the sea.
  
  "You don't have bones of glass. You can take life's knocks. If you let this chance pass, eventually, your heart will become as dry and brittle as my skeleton."
  
   
  
              

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