Friday, April 25, 2008

• A Lesson on Love from the Hand of an Amateur

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  "A life without love is no life at all."
  (Ever After)

  Pretty heavy, huh?  DaVinci couldn't have been more dead on, and for once, Hollywood has my complete attention.  If love truly is so very significant, why is it so many people are so afraid of the concept?  I, for one, was one of those people.  When I'm honest with myself, I can't deny that I still am in many ways.  The problem, however, doesn't come with the fact that love isn't desirable.  It comes from the depressing truth that the world no longer understands the true context of love as God has intended it.  The world settles for emotions and strong feelings that no doubt fade faster than the month of May.  Is it a wonder why marriages no longer last?

  All that being said, I figured I owed at least one xanga entry to that which I consider to be love.  I will more than likely hit on the friendship side of love just as much so as the romantic/marriage sorta love.  I think both are significant, maybe the friendship sorta love a little moreso.  After all, you can't have a passionate, lasting love with a significant lover if you cannot first be their friend.  Passion can be quite selfish; friendship, at best, is self-sacrificial.  The Bible says it all in John 15:  "there is no greater love than to lay down one's life for one's friends" (NLT).

  My first question of myself when dealing with love regards what the characteristics of true love really are.  Naturally, my mind always drifts back to 1 Corinthians 13.  This isn't the only spot that the Bible describes that which is genuine love.  However, it is the most point-blank set of verses within my mind.  If they still don't give you a firm picture of what love is, perhaps you should consider the life of Jesus.  I know that may sound cliche, but who can refute the goodness that was Jesus?  Even those that deny him the title of Savior can't suggest he is anything less than a really selfless, amazing man.  Anyway, back to those verses from Paul's letter to the Corinthians.

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  "Love is patient, love is kind.  It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.  Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

  Love never fails.  But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.  For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears.  When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child.  When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me.  Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face.  Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

  And now these three remain:  faith, hope and love.  But the greatest of these is love."

  (1 Corinthians 13:4-13; NIV)

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  The first indention of the previous quote discusses characteristics of love.  The funny thing is that all of these characteristics aren't always present within the context of human love.  In a perfect world, they would be.  On God's part, they are.  However, that doesn't mean we should completely forget the characteristics altogether.  I don't think I've ever experienced genuine love that hasn't had at least a few of these characteristics present.  Another interesting thing to note is that each of these characteristics take effort to get down.  It's not always easy to be kind, patient, selfless, and forgiving.  These things don't just come to you.  You have to work to make these things happen.  Not only that, but you need God's assistance.  It says in the Bible that "God is love."  I truly believe that there is no such thing as selfless love apart from the nature of the Lord.  Therefore, how can one love wholly and to the best of their being without His assistance?  God is the Creator of love, after all.  Apart from that, He is the Creator of you and all of those individuals down here you're meant to love.  Why not go to the Author for assistance with loving those He entrusted to you?

  Aside from the fact that we should love because God first loved us, let's try to get another fleshy reason to love one another. 

  "Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work:  if one falls down, his friend can help him up.  But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!  Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm.  But how can one keep warm alone?  Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves."
  (Ecclesiastes 4:9-12; NIV)

  So we should love one another not only because it's what we're designed to do, but also because it's a great help to us personally.  I know this is a little more on the selfish side, but I think it's probably significant to point out during those times we're having troubles loving the "unlovable."  With the help of another, life is more tolerable.  How many stories have you heard about individuals who have contemplated suicide but avoided that track altogether because they realized somebody cared enough to love them?  I can't think of one victory story that doesn't involve the intervention of someone submitting to their call to love one another!  That aside, how much easier would the battles in life be with the combined efforts of you and another person whom you love?  Who honestly wants to face life alone? 

  And for those of you who say, "Oh, that's me!"... what made you get that way?  My guess is a love lost or a past scar from what you once perceived to be love.  Let me tell you from experience, as a man I love dearly tends to tell me consistently:  it is better to have love and lost than never to have loved at all.  "The hardest thing is loving someone and having the courage to let them love you back" (Wedding Date).  Sure, the process of "losing love" is no pleasant one.  Let's face it, though.  If it truly is/was love, it is never really lost.  There are many I have loved in my life that have never really left me.  I still love them dearly and hope for the best for them.  That doesn't mean I don't have pains or hurts as a result because, let's just face it, we're human.  We mess up love all the time.  However, the Bible never promised love would be easy.  It just promised that if you live a life of love, you will reap more benefits.

  Finally, I want to conclude with two more quotes that I greatly enjoy.  The first is from a movie that I would suggest if you haven't seen it already (simply because I'm a hopeless romantic).  It shows that not all love begins as love, and even when it progresses into love, it isn't always perfect.  Love comes with trials, pains, even points at which the lovers can't stand to see each other.  The reality is, however, that love doesn't fail.  Anyway, the movie is Fools Rush In.  I wouldn't encourage you to always buy into Hollywood's attempt at portraying love, but this movie in and of itself is cute.  Therefore, we'll overlook it.  The following quote is by one of my favorite writers from back in the day:  Shakespeare.  I know he is by no means the person to model a life after, but some of his ideas on love were very insightful.  I think the man loved someone properly in his lifetime, regardless as to whether or not it was his wife (sad story).  Anyway, enjoy, and I hope I gave you some food for thought.

  "You will never know love unless you surrender to it."
  (Fools Rush In)

  "Love comforteth like sunshine after rain."
  (Shakespeare)

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