by faith abraham, when called to go to a
place he would later receive as his inheritance,
obeyed and went, even though
he did not know where he was going.
by faith he made his home in the
promised land like a stranger in a foreign country;
he lived in tents, as did isaac and jacob, who were
heirs with him of the same promise. for he was
looking forward to the city with foundations,
whose architect and builder is God. ... laugh. life is insane. in.sane. in-sane. i would be stressed but i have
upped past the humorous-threshold. insanity is humorous.
the insane laugh at themselves. i enjoyed sitting at the toyota dealership
for the majority of the 2.5+ hours.
i covered myself in the beautiful words of
hebrews 11-12 -- so beyond-words grateful
that adam had instructed me to read such.
i enjoyed elisabeth elliot's kind of surrender.
i enjoyed jane eyre -- such means of catharsis
is more than necessary on friday. i am completely disoriented.
i came out the front door at seven ante.meridian.
and decided that it was cold outside.
fifty degrees. cold.
sitting at the dealership feeling chilly
reminded me of being a student at a&m -- cc
and taking kendra in early in the morning
when i was still groggy.
so i can't decide whether i'm in the past or the
present and whether i'm out of place or at home. disoriented.
this compounded with more than a thousand dollars
worth of needed car repairs [how? when it rains
it pours.] and the fact that they don't .make.
remote access keys like mine anymore [sigh]
compounded with every uncertainty possible
compounded with the fact that i really don't feel
like doing any work today and would like to sit
with my latte and cheesecake muffin and do
.nothing.
compounded with the fact that doing nothing
is not so satisfying when you're thinking Everything. but hey. i love whipped cream with my lattes. i love
aluminum foil [though i hate throwing it away]. i like
that the regulars at my coffee shop recognize me
and sometimes we do things like feel the weight of
each other's laptops or exchange pleasantries.
i love people. i like that my mom has ridiculous ideas
for getting kendra repaired -- like calling up "family
friends" that we don't have, considering i've only
lived here for two months. i love sweaters. i love that
i have the republican convention recorded at home
to watch today. i like that i can call it "home." i like
eating muffins with a fork. i like fake-panicking -- and
the way it causes my mother to tell me to "calm down."
i love talking to myself in the bathroom mirror while i
wash my hands. i love to wash my hands. i like being
a girl. i love adam -- the way he finds perfect, secret
study spots on campus, the way he tries out for talent
shows only because he longs for forums to spread Truth,
the way that he is tempted to take physics 2 next
semester even though it is challenging because he knows
he is learning incredible things, the way he is reading
a book that is maybe about how beauty is evidence for
the existence of God. but we're not sure. all these people were still living by faith
when they died. they did
not receive the things promised; they only saw them
and welcomed them from a distance. and
they admitted that they were
aliens and strangers on earth.
people who say such things show that
they are looking for a country of their own.
if they had been thinking of the country they had left,
they would have had opportunity to return.
instead, they were longing for a better country —
a heavenly one.
therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God,
for he has prepared a city for them. above all, i love and like and am grateful and excited
that tonight is tonight.
this tastes of deja vu, and i am all for getting back to
where this began. | 
