Good point on the whole "good baby" thing.  It seem kind of wrong to say, "no, she's actually a really bad baby."  Interesting that the ones that we praise for being "good" are the ones who less frequently do normal baby things, like cry and wake up at random times.  "Bad babies" are just doing what babies do. 

A-frickin'-men.

I'm tired of the assumption that I just simply must do drugs and worship satan and be evil simply because I have a nose piercing, wear hemp jewelry, and tended to do my hair and general style in funky wacky ways. I hate that when I dread my hair soon or finally get the money for the numerous body-spanning tattoos I want, it's only going to get worse. I hate that it just does not occur to anyone that maybe I am a completely drug-free strong Christian with high moral values and really rather conservative - I don't show my legs in public and am considering wearing skirts for modesty's sake, I refuse to show my stomach in public, and I cover my head when I pray. The people that judge me because I "look" different and they think they are such good Christians? I bet they don't even do that much. We are all at different stages in our walk, but aside from the obvious (tattoos of satan or whatever) appearance should have nothing to do with it. Just because they dress like soccer moms doesn't automatically mean they are better than me or further along in their walk. I am STILL more modest than they are, and I take Scriptures seriously enough to cover when I pray! How many people do that? It's ridiculous. I wish people would stop judging and labeling. I don't go around asking every mom I see in a polo shirt and khaki pants how many cookies she's made or how many loads of laundry she's done today!!

You know there's a name for people like you who ask a ton of open ended questions........

BWAHAHAHAHA...

(I got nuttin... but do know that I have had that same rant more than once with not much in the way of answers... it makes me as nuts as you... from the mother of a bad baby... ;) )

I recommend How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk which includes the chapters "Helping chidren deal with their feelings," "Encouraging autonomy," and particularly relevant to this post "Freeing children from playing roles."  I admit that I haven't read it all the way through myself yet, but what I've read and heard is very good.

I think the danger in labels has more to do with the roles they create for people to play.  Labelling is intrinsically human.  We try to understand and describe.  When this is verbalized, out pops a label.  I think ultimately we need to be careful and aware of the judgmentalism on our part/possible lack of understanding along with the possible roles that we may be placing on people to play. 

I, personally, believe that some labelling can be ok and even beneficial.  I've had a student where positive descriptions "You're sitting in your chair!" and some occasional positive labels "Oh my goodness!  You're so smart!  You know just what to do at the table!" has helped improve behavior by counteracting the negative labels and roles heard by others.  In general, I think descriptions are healthier than labels.  (This works well for children's artwork too.)  ;)

However, I have no problem at all telling my baby that she's a "good baby" at this age.  As long as I'm aware of what I mean, how I use it, and how I minimize it as a role as she grows, she's been mostly enjoying the tone of voice and sounds thus far!  I have no intention of telling any future fussy children that they are "bad babies" or telling them that by omitting them in a list of "good children." 

As you've heard and like to tease me about....there are "happy choices" and "sad choices,"  not "good children" and "bad children."