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| Man! Haven't been here in ages.
The Christmas lights on the house are starting to look really
good. Maybe it's becuase it's actually the Christmas now - as
opposed to back in August when I put them up to see what the Little
Woman would say when she drove home at night.
There's something I'm dying to try now that I have an automatic garage
door opener. Since my driveway is on a slope, if I back way back
into the back of the garage at night, and then the next morning get in
the car, open the garage, and punch it, I wonder if I can catch air
into the street. Bet the neighbors would love that. A lot
better than painting my lawn orange anyway, or building my own Trojan
horse in the back yard, or piling up snow in the street to see what
people will do, or putting a "No Hunting" sign in my front yard, or.....
Time to teach the Little Clone how to play hockey....
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| It's been forever since I've been in here. The new job is pretty
busy, but enjoyable. I do have more time to go home and wrestle
with the boys, do yard work, work on the house, shoot cans off the
fence in my backyard, drive the neighbor to the emergency room, and
yell at that annoying chipmunk that's been eating my lawn. I
guess the neighbors are getting a bit
annoyed that I run out into my driveway at 6am every morning in my
underwear shouting "Get off my lawn you lousy rodent! Get
out! Leave me alone!" Days are getting colder though; might
have to put on boots. I might have to challenge the neighbor boys
to some street hockey. Of course, every time I do something like
that, somebody gets hurt. If they would just play by the rules, I
wouldn't have to beat them up!
The teaching is fun. I always hear the same question from my
students. "Is this going to be on the test?" I usually look
up at them with a grim look and wide eyes and - with my best
impersonation of the emperor from Star Wars - say, "Oh.... I'm afraid
so...... Oh yes! You will be tested on this.... and... if you
fail..... you will die....."
The days are getting colder. I guess I'll have to start wearing
pants to class. The mini-skirt just isn't keeping me warm enough.
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| Been a while since I updated this thing.
I'll be moving in about two weeks to start my new job. The little
woman and the hatchlings have already moved on ahead of me to our new
house. Great house! I had a chance to take the day off
yesterday and visit the family.
I noticed that my three-year-old son has become rather crazy in the
past few weeks that they have been away. For example, if I pick
something up off of the floor - anything - he will run up to me with
wide eyes and very excitedly say, "Eat it! Eat it! Eat
it!" Yesterday I found a used band-aid on the living room
floor. It must have fallen off of a finger between the ages of 2
and 5 years old. It was about a day old; the blood had already
turned a dark brown. As I'm holding the band-aid between my thumb
and index finger, the three-year-old runs up shouting, "Eat it!
Eat it! Eat it!"
While I didn't eat it at the time, I bet he would have gotten a kick
out of it if I actually ate the band-aid. My kids are nuts, and I
don't know where they got
it from......
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| Today is the boy's birthday. He's been talking about it for
months. Today's going to be cool because we get to go to
Toys'R'Us to pick out a birthday present. I'm pretty excited
about the whole thing. I'm looking forward to seeing what we get!
Birthdays are great when you have kids; it allows us adults who've
never grown up to live vicariously through our kids and get a
bunch of really cool stuff around Christmas, birthdays, and any other
special occasions that we can come up with.
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| The little woman is completely hooked on this new television show,
"Supernanny." Seen it? I hate it. The fact that
people's kids get that far out of hand depresses me.
However, I've got my own idea for a similar show starring..... well....
me. A family who can't keep their kids in line gives me a
call (just like Supernanny). I show up at the house and observe for a day or so (just
like Supernanny) mostly so I can see what they got in their
fridge. Then I dramatically announce that I have the solution to
their problems (just like Supernanny). I pull out the cell-phone and chat a bit with the
guy on the other end. About 30 minutes later an olive green truck
shows up. We load the kids into the truck and haul the whole lot
of 'em off to military school leaving the parents in peace. End
of story. I'll stick around the house for a few more days to
clean out the fridge and watch their TV, then leave.
I figure we can bang out about six or seven families in a single episode.
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